Next to mass shootings, I can’t think of anything more devastating than the sexual abuse that’s been happening in America.
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We all hear about the murderous evil splattered across the front pages of our newspapers from mass shootings, but the insidious assault perpetrated for years by athletic coaches and medical personnel has only recently come to light, largely through the tireless efforts of Rachael Denhollander, a courageous young lawyer and political activist who was a former gymnast . . . one of the hundreds sexually assaulted by Larry Nassar.
This is a really hard movie to watch, but if you have a child (especially a daughter) who’s part of any athletic program, I urge you to watch it so you will beware of the potential for evil in our society. (And, consider watching it a second time with your daughter.) Frankly, I think it’s time for all of us to assess the sexual safety of each of our children, regardless of gender or athletic prowess. I have a close friend whose grand daughter was part of a rowing team a few years ago where the coach had secretly installed equipment for watching the girls in the dressing room. He’s in prison now, but the girls were totally unaware of his voyeurism, and they all loved him! He was a great coach, and they were a winning team. The girls were devastated by his betrayal.
I had a male friend (now passed) who was abused by an admired custodian at the elite prep school he attended, and after twenty-five years of marriage he left his wife for a man. He tried to live with his gruesome secret, but he confided to me that he never recovered from the affects of being abused. Both men and women are being assaulted in record numbers.
I’m not sure it’s possible to assess the effects from being betrayed by those you trust and admire, but I think the impact and struggle to overcome is a lifelong battle for most.
Sexually abuse is a topic so ugly no one wants to touch it, but it’s way past time to confront this evil and protect our young people. I suspect this movie is just the tip of the iceberg, but may we each take it seriously and examine what’s going on in our homes, schools, and social groups.
It is my prayer that at the beginning of this new school year, each parent makes the challenging effort to talk individually with each of their children. Start building trust with them in this area. You can be sure they’re hearing “all about it” at school anyway. We need to have listening, non-judgmental hearts, seeking to figure out how each child is doing. Are they involved in any physical activity where they are being touched? Even what’s labeled therapeutic massage can lead to erotic mishandling. Please, please be wary. Please, please make sure your youngsters feel safe with you, so they don’t think you’ll condemn them. I have one dear friend who finally got the courage to say her uncle had been sexually abusing her, and instead of protecting her, the whole family turned on her in disbelief because the uncle “couldn’t possibly” have seduced her. “It must have been her fault!”
No, the older person is responsible for protecting the younger person. If you find yourself attracted to someone much younger than you are, seek help immediately! If you find yourself attracted to someone older who should not be available, tell an older adult who’s in a position to help you, and get help!
If you don’t know where to turn for help, please start by praying and asking God for wisdom about how to proceed and where to go for emotional and physical safety. God knows each of us intimately. He understands our hearts and needs. He sent Christ to die for our sins, and He can bring miraculous healing to our wounded hearts—if we’ll let Him!
“Help, Lord; for the godly man ceases;
for the faithful fail from among the children of men” (Psalm 12:1).
“And the Lord shall help them, and deliver them: he shall deliver them from the wicked, and save them, because they trust in him” (Psalm 37:40).
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