InTents Training for Young Women Who are Disciples of Jesus

One of my favorite personal ministries is “InTents,” an intimate, 9-day long experience of intensive training in discipleship.

I’d call it Ann Bjorlie’s brain child, except I believe it’s really a beautiful vision inspired by the Holy Spirit.

As the mother of nine children who are now grown, Ann has the time and room to take young women into her home for spiritual fellowship and teaching each spring.

Over the course of one week and two weekends, Ann and a team of dedicated older women delve into five areas of study especially designed to prepare young women for their adult lives and ministries within the Church.

The teaching is completely from the scripture and intentionally non-denominational, so if you’re a young woman (16-22±) and a follower of Jesus from any branch of the Christian Church, you are wanted and welcome. (Or, if you’re a mother or grandmother, please consider whether you have children or grandchildren in that age group who might want to come.) There are morning and afternoon teaching and hands-on training sessions, and in the evenings there are bonfires, fireside chats, games, and time for quiet times alone with the Lord as well as times to enjoy the other young women. To me, it’s somewhere between a girls’ camp and a retreat.

Girls working on a Spiritual Gifts Questionnaire

I’ve been involved for a number of years teaching on the gifts and work of the Holy Spirit, although this year I have two families and a friend visiting in our home during the InTents week so won’t be able to participate with the team. 😦 However, I think it’s a wonderful ministry and really encourage anyone who might want to come to apply.

It’s usually a small group of between 8-15 ladies, and although they’re primarily from Southwest Michigan, we’ve had girls come from as far away as Canada and Utah, so don’t let distance stop you! I know most young women in this age group need to get summer jobs, but it’s really just one week and two weekends at the beginning of summer, so hopefully the timing will work for you. When I was that age, I always spent my summer working as a waitress, but my boss would let me off one week so I could work as a life guard at Lake Ann Bible Camp up north. Perhaps you could ask your boss if you could take just one week off for this very special week of training.

If you can believe this, Ann only charges $50 per person for the entire nine days, which doesn’t even cover the cost of food. (Oh, she serves 3 meals every day for the kids too!) Ann used to offer it totally free of charge and covered the expenses herself (with the help of her dear husband), but she found that sometimes girls would sign up but not attend. Since she’s started charging $50, she hasn’t had any problems with the girls forgetting to show up! However, if you’d love to come but don’t have the $50, just let her know, as there are some scholarships available.

The deadline for signing up is May 1, which is just a few days away. If you’re interested but need more information, you can also leave a message in the comment box below or send me an email at kathrynwarmstrong@gmail.com and I can answer questions or help connect you.

“For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age” (Titus 2:11-12).

Moving Expectations: What to Know Before You Buy

A few weeks ago I drove to Chicago with high hopes of being useful to my “little sister” (almost) and her husband as they settled into their new house. They’d just returned to the Chicago area after ten years working in Atlanta and Washington D.C. Carpet cleaners came and went; the floors were draped and the interior painted. We hauled extra items to Community Threads and took extra boxes to a couple who needed them (prearranged through Next Door).

We drank a lot of tea together. We grieved all Lizzie and Chuck had left behind in D.C. and celebrated all they’d gained by moving back to their lifetimes of family and friends. Chuck amazed us (and even himself) by ordering something on Amazon and having it arrive in four hours. That’s right: Four hours from online to their front door! Remember the Disney sci-fi jokes about “Someday, packages will be delivered on beams of light!”? It’s almost here. We took Lizzie’s sister-in-law out for a birthday breakfast, and we tried a new place for dinner one night when we were all exhausted.

Moving is thrilling, but it’s also daunting. One day while we were cleaning upstairs, I heard the carpet cleaner hollering, “There’s water coming through the ceiling vent!” They have a beautiful home that’s just fifteen years old, but apparently there was a leak in the lines for the jets on the master bath that the house inspector failed to notice. That was a gloomy thought. How many other things did the inspector fail to catch?

I have kids who are thinking about buying a new house. A first for them, and an almost brand new home. My guess is there are zillions of people out there also thinking about buying a new home, since millions of homes are being bought and sold in America every year. (I can’t even find a guess on how many globally; doubtless mega millions.) What is the current wisdom on buying a home? I asked Chuck and Liz for their advice, not only because they’d just sold and bought their homes, but also because Chuck works in a field related to the financial services industry and has taken a lifelong interest in reading and learning about personal finance. I’ve also corroborated their thoughts with research. Here are a few suggestions for any would-be home owners:

*2023 is not a good time to buy a new home unless you have to: “U.S. Home Sales in 2023 Set to Slow to Lowest Level in a Decade”: “There will most likely be about 16% fewer existing home sales than in 2022, approximately 4.3 million, Redfin predicted in the report. That’s a 30% decline from the peak of the homebuying frenzy caused by the pandemic. It’s also likely to cause the lowest housing-turnover rate since the early 1980s. Only about 32 out of every 1,000 households are expected to sell their home in 2023 . . . Would-be buyers [are] pressing pause due mostly to affordability challenges including high mortgage rates, still-high home prices, persistent inflation and a potential recession,” Mr. Marr continued. “People will only move if they need to . . . “Overall, the median price of a U.S. home is set to fall to $368,000 in 2023, a 4% decline and the first year-over-year drop since 2012, the data showed” (https://www.mansionglobal.com/articles/u-s-home-sales-in-2023-set-to-slow-to-lowest-level-in-a-decade-01670350066).

*From Chuck specifically: Before you purchase your home, reckon with the fact that “the gold standard for downpayment used to be 20% until standards were relaxed. Dave Ramsey would caution against putting less than 10% down and says that a down payment of 20% is preferable because you avoid paying PMI [private mortgage insurance], which can be a costly addition to your monthly mortgage payment . . . his [Dave Ramsey’s] ‘baby step #6’ on the road to financial peace is to pay off your mortgage as early as possible.” Such sound advice!

As I’ve researched on line, it appears that since 2018 things have loosened up a lot, but that doesn’t mean the new possibilities are wise; they are much more risky. Now you can find lenders who will loan money with a downpayment of anywhere from 3-20%, but I still believe if you can’t come up with at least 10% and don’t have a known huge boost in income guaranteed, you’re very likely looking at a long mortgage that will tie you down so tightly you won’t have money for extras or unexpected emergencies. Financial pressures are an ominously depressing stressor in relationships, and worst case scenario—you may even lose your house.

I remember the dark years during medical school where even coming up with money to pay our rent was questionable, and we were living in subsidized university townhouses. Ice cream, salad dressing, and hot dog buns were unaffordable luxuries. And then there was the day when Alan said, “There’s NO MONEY to shop, not even for milk!” That was after medical school. After residency. After ten years of marriage and four kids. And, even after he’d started practice as a physician. The real problem? We bought our first house and had no money for nuttin’ because it took longer for medical insurance companies to pay Alan than we’d anticipated. Don’t buy a house if to do so means you don’t have a single egg left in your nest!

*If you are going to buy a home, the benchmark for affordability is not more than 25-30% of your disposable income (household budget after taxes). Included in that should be an estimate of 1-2% of the home’s purchase price for maintenance and repairs (which does happen, even in newer homes, as I just pointed out).

*Finally, even if you can afford to buy a home, it usually takes at least 5 years to recoup your expenses and make a profit, so don’t buy unless you’re planning to stay in the area. We have one set of kids who moved for work. They made a huge profit on the sale of their home but are wisely renting and waiting to figure out if their new job will be long term in the new location. There are many advantages to living in an area before buying: Proximity to work, church, educational opportunities, recreational access, friendships, safety—these are all major factors that may not be known before you move. A couple of examples: We have a young, single friend who bought and sold a home in Washington D.C. but did not make a profit in three years, although he had hoped to. We have a friend who works in a big city where they’ve just started a new major highway construction project. It used to take him 15 minutes to commute to and from work; it now takes him 15 minutes to get to work but an hour to get home.

If you want to buy a house but don’t think this is quite the right time nationally or personally, here are a few good ways to prepare for a future purchase:

• Make sure your finances are in order. Pay off/down any debts and make sure your credit rating is good or work on improving it.
• Start saving for a down payment. Some banks are starting to give pretty good rates. (Just looking online this minute, it looks like Huntington is offering CD’s with 5.18% APY guaranteed for 14 months if you have $1,000 to start a nest egg, but I have NO CLUE if this would be right or best for you. PRAY before you even start your research! The Lord can lead you!)
• To calculate how much you can afford to pay for a home, there’s a “28/36” standard: Don’t spend more than 28% of your gross (pre-tax) income on house-related costs, and don’t spend more than 36% on total debts (which might include school, auto, or credit card as well as mortgage payments). There are calculators online that will help you work through your specific assets and liabilities to help you figure out the reasonable price range for buying a home.

I remember when Alan and I started looking for our first home. We felt like the pair of robins looking at a tiny nest in the cartoon with the caption, “Too expensive.” Another question to consider: Do you need to own your own home? I’m pretty sure if anything happened to Alan, I would rent a small apartment close to my kids and call it good. By the time you pay for maintenance, taxes, and all expenses related to running a home, I don’t think you’re really saving money. You’re buying privacy and space for sure, but you’re trading that for time and convenience.

I’ve loved being a home owner, and I love our present home, so I’m not suggesting we all live like monks and forsake home ownership, particularly if we have a family. But, owning a home is a huge investment in both money and time, so it shouldn’t necessarily be the illusory pot of gold at the end of everybody’s rainbow. Just sayin’!

“Labor not to be rich: cease from thine own wisdom. Will you set your eyes upon that which is not? for riches certainly make themselves wings; they fly away as an eagle toward heaven” (Proverbs 23:4 -5).

Happy 15th Birthday, Summer Setting: Rough Drafts

For those of you who’ve been friends and fellow pilgrims with me via Summer Setting for many years, thank you! For those of you who read now and then, thank you too! For any who may be visiting for the first time—welcome! My prayer is that every person who stops by finds something to encourage them in their faith journey, and that Jesus Christ will be exalted and God glorified.

When my last-born started college and my twenty-year homeschooling tenure ended, it was time to find an avocation. I didn’t want a full-time job because my husband was nearing retirement and I’d watched too many friends dive into demanding careers that tied them down just when their husbands’ careers were winding down and they were ready for a more companionable lifestyle. Prayerfully, I sought the Lord’s leading: “What can I do with my time that’s flexible enough to allow me to continue being there for my family and church community?” About that time, I read Frederick Buechner’s wise counsel: “Your vocation in life is where your greatest joy meets the world’s greatest need.” The second half of that formula struck me immediately; to my mind, the world’s greatest need (myself included) is to know and love God.

But the first half of Buechner’s equation was harder for me to calculate. What is my greatest joy? What am I passionate about? In what way do I find it most natural to love and serve others? Someone else asked the question in a slightly different way: “What’s the staff in your hand?” (as in: God used the staff in Moses’s hand to demonstrate God’s power to Pharoah; what do I have?) What gift has God given you? How can you (I) engage in trying to know and love God better and share that experience with others?

It didn’t take me long to recognize that am passionate about writing and sharing the beauty of God’s creation through photography, although I’ve never had a class in either writing or photography! Years ago I heard that any aspiring author should write at least 500,000 words before attempting to publish anything. I smiled. My mother had kept the weekly letters I’d written home to cheer my parents, and she gave them back to me before she died. She had kept them in chronological order, neatly tied together by year, possibly every letter I’d ever written her! So, my first project was to turn all my letters, starting with the birth of our firstborn, into a book of memories for our family. I dubbed it The Armstrong Archives and had a copy printed for each member of our family. It was 972 pages and 767,071 words long.

I wasn’t sure if writing letters home to mother qualified as bona fide writing, but it definitely gave me practice at describing details and memorializing moments of joy and terror in childrearing. So, probably not ready to publish, but maybe ready to carry on with practicing my craft in a larger setting. Several of my kids were trying their hand at blogging and recommended it. My daughter helped set me up with a recently innovated format for self-publishing called WordPress. I was like a swan to swimming, and since that time I’ve been writing my heart out—sharing travel adventures, recipes, favored books and movies, thoughts on biblical themes, and a potpourri of ideas, jokes, and whatever strikes me as something that might be worth sharing.

By the twelfth anniversary of Summer Setting, people had stopped by to view the blog more than 750,000 times, and I started to hope by the time there were a million views I might be ready to do something more or different. By April 8, 2023—Summer Setting‘s fifteenth birthday—that moment came.

So, now what, Lord? I’m not sure. I’m stopping to pause and pray. While Alan was gone to Israel, I sat down one Sunday afternoon and thought about what I’d like to write . . . and came up with a list longer than the number of years I’ll live. So, maybe I’ll just keep chugging away, or maybe the Lord will show me something slightly different. Whatever it is, I am grateful to be on this journey, and I’m grateful to you for being my pilgrim companion! Thank you for being tolerant of my life of rough drafts.

Meanwhile, can I encourage you to think about the questions I’ve pondered? What do you think is the world’s greatest need? What brings you the greatest joy? How can you combine those answers to provide a path of service? What’s the staff in your hand? What gift has God given you? These questions are especially pertinent for young people thinking about career issues and those of us who are retirement age, but they are also valuable questions to ponder throughout life. Are our hands open and lifted up to God? Are we willing to do whatever He wants us to do?

“O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together” (Psalm 34:3).

Steve Green, singing “Find Us Faithful”

(This is one of my all-time favorite songs from back in the day when I sang with a ladies’ ensemble. It still moves me to tears every time I hear it and my heart cries out, “Amen!” May I be found faithful. May we all be found faithful.)

An Olympic Challenge

Did you catch any of the 2022 Winter Olympics in Beijing? Captivating, wasn’t it? We don’t watch T.V. per se, but we were fascinated by the incredible skill of the athletes we saw during a brief getaway to celebrate our 49th-anniversary last week.

Aerial ski jumps and snowboarding are over-the-top X-treme, along with skiers flying down mountains at 84 mph and figure skaters performing quadruple Axels.

Shout-out to a fellow Michigan Upper by my brother (Thanks, Wolle!)

Did you know snowboarding all started with an engineer in Muskegon, Michigan (almost next door to us in GR) who made a “snurfer” (snow/surfer) board for his daughter back in 1965? That’s not that long ago! It became an Olympic sport in 1998, and what they can do now in the Snowboard Big Air competition hardly seems humanly possible!

I am inspired by the dedication and training these athletes endure to compete in the Olympics. Some have dedicated their lives to preparing since they were as young as three years old! Some fail to win a prize but continue pursuing excellence so they can enter . . . again and again and again!

They give up so much in the way of normalcy. They can’t do what others do! They keep pushing while their friends relax. They have to severely regulate what they eat, when they sleep, and how they spend their time. They don’t really have “free time.” Their lives are focused on one thing: winning.

And, some few of the world’s most elite who perform almost flawlessly during the competitions actually do win Olympic medals! I stand in awe of their ambition, but I wouldn’t personally trade a normal life for an Olympic gold medal. However, I do have a deep desire to win the approval of my heavenly Father, and that motivates me to give up many things that others enjoy. I remember learning to say to myself: “Others may, but you cannot.” By choice.

In a world filled with opportunities and choices, we each have the privilege of choosing how to invest our personal resources. We can use them to strive for earthly goals, like fame, money, or pleasure. But, we can also choose to give up a life of ease to pursue a heavenly goal. To become a disciplined one. A disciple! When I watch the Olympics, I am inspired, not to become a world-class athlete, but to become a better disciple of Christ: “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified” (1 Corinthians 9:24-27).

Figure skaters Anna Shcherbakova and Kamila Valiyeva on NBC

The Olympics also remind me of the importance of obeying the rules: If we disobey, we will not win. Perhaps sometimes people fighting for victory in this world can win by deception, but God—who knows our hearts—will judge perfectly when we all get to heaven! Someday there will be perfect justice. There will be mercy. There will be truth. There will be no question about right and wrong. We will all know the truth, and we will all be painfully aware that we have failed at some point: “Now we know that whatever the law says it speaks to those who are under the law, so that every mouth may be stopped, and the whole world may be held accountable to God” (Romans 3:19).

Even if we never enter the Olympics, God gives each of us an olympic challenge: to live a life of holiness. “Sanctify yourselves therefore, and be ye holy: for I am the Lord your God” (Leviticus 20:7). This is an even greater challenge than becoming an Olympic gold medalist! How am I doing? Am I disciplining myself? Am I abiding by the rules?

“And if a man also strive for masteries, yet is he not crowned,
except he strive lawfully” (2 Timothy 2:4-6).

(Credit: I took all the photos while watching NBC news except the photo of the snowboarding gold-metallists, shared by my brother.)

I Have Prayed For You, by Jane Anderson

Have you ever read something, maybe a hundred times, but it made the impression of invisible ink? The scripture verse has been there all along, but recently I read and noticed Luke 22:32 “I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” Jesus spoke those words to Simon Peter moments before he warned that Peter would deny him in public. Did you get that? Jesus said ‘I prayed for you …’ Jesus prayed for Peter to stand firm in his faith, and to strengthen his brothers. There was no code word or invisible ink; the impression had HD clarity.

As I was contemplating that verse, its significance was unmistakable. Peter was a Christ follower and strong leader in the community, yet he was vulnerable, even positioned to fail when attacked at his weakest link. Deny Jesus? Impossible … until he snapped under pressure. When Peter realized what he had done, verse 62 of Luke 22 says he was devastated and wept bitterly. But that wasn’t the end; Peter kept his faith and went on to greater purpose.

Maybe my preoccupation with that verse comes from knowing that friends are praying for me; that friends pray for friends; that people who have never met, pray for each other. When we pray, we believe God for what he promises. Notice Philippians 4:6 “Do not worry about anything, pray through every situation, be thankful as you present your requests to God. He will give you peace beyond understanding and will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Sometimes we ask God over and over for something that is never within our grasp. Sometimes God says no; sometimes we have to wait …. Wait. a. very. long. time. In those times what does God promise? Peace that we don’t understand – if we give up the worry cycle and pray with thanks-living. I have prayed for you that your faith might not fail.

When Jesus said, “I prayed for you, Simon…” did he then, when Simon Peter denied him, say “Well forget it then!” and detach from him and all others? Jesus might have been disappointed, but he didn’t reject Peter and he won’t reject you.

 Look what we can learn from Romans 8:26-27, “The Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us. He searches our hearts, and intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.” God is not a magician, performing some hocus pocus sleight of hand to bring about His purpose. He is the sovereign Lord just like it says in Isaiah 48:17 “I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.”

When I’m in the decision-making process about anything this is my common prayer: “Lord God, you know me, you know my needs and wants, my interests, and my personality. You know how my navigation can get pretty messed up and sometimes my choices are barely on the edge of your purpose for my life. Please, Lord, open doors that only you can open and close doors only you can close, so there is no mistake when this decision has to be made.”

A few years ago, I had been looking for a new job for several months and wasn’t sure which areas of interest I should pursue, but anything that included writing was like a magnet to me. I had a deficiency in both education and experience, but I applied anyway. In my search I was approached by a recruiter as a possible match for one of their clients. I was enthusiastic about the opportunity and excited to be invited to not one, but three telephone interviews. This seemed to be just what I prayed for. Was this that open door I asked God to open? Optimism was at peak – at peak!

Then my hopes plummeted. “You have a lot of experience and varied background. You would do great as one of our writers. We need you to beef up your bio though and put these things in there so you sound – well more . . ..” That sounded like deception to me. Ah, so tempting. It’s just a resume and I’ve been told that what I lack in experience I make up for in sheer determination. Then I remembered 1 Corinthians 10:13, “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” I heard the door slam shut as the opportunity closed.

Ephesians 2:10, “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” I am God’s handiwork – created to do good. Embellishing my history is not doing good. The indelible ink of Luke 22:32 came back to me: “I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.”  This sounds like the door sliding closed while Jesus intercedes for me because I’m not sure how pray. Weeks later I got a job offer at a company I had wanted to work for since 1973. “I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail.”

In any way can you relate? Do you struggle with doors that open and close leaving you perplexed? Psalm 33:4 convinces me that worry is futile; trust is the prescription. “For the word of the Lord is right and true; he is faithful in all he does.”

Writing Your Life Story

“We can hardly wait to retire!” she confided with a grin. I was too surprised to respond. I looked deep into my best friend’s bright blue eyes and saw that she was absolutely sincere.

“But Cheryl, you guys haven’t even started working yet!”

“I know! We’re excited to move to Miami, and I think Tom’s going to love his new practice, but we want to save hard and retire as soon as we can.”

Forty years later, I still remember feeling shocked and confused. Maybe I just wasn’t far-sighted enough, but the thought of retiring had never crossed my mind in all my twenty-nine years. To me, “Retirement” was the “R word” and not to be spoken . . . until necessary . . . and only in hushed tones.

Cheryl and I had been “resident widows” together while our husbands slugged their way through medical residencies at the University of Michigan. Cheryl’s husband had just finished (one year ahead of Alan), and they’d found an excellent opportunity to join a thriving practice in Miami. They were just about to embark on the greatest adventure in their life. Could they really be overlooking the next 35-40 years? What was so attractive about being old, grey, and tired? It all sounded scary and threatening to me. At this same time, my own parents were considering when to retire, and my Dad was fighting with the State of Michigan over an upcoming mandated retirement from his professorship at age 65. He didn’t want to retire!*

Cheryl’s two kids and my two oldest had played together incessantly through all those years of medical combat. Some weeks Alan was gone for 117 hours (I counted). Aaron and Michael got all excited when Alan was on overnight call, because on those nights we got to go “to Daddy’s house” (as they called it) for dinner. We’d pack a picnic and share supper with him in his tiny call room, which was especially thrilling to the boys because it was furnished with a hospital bed that could go up and back and down and up and . . . kept them occupied endlessly!

It was during those days that Cheryl kept the number for protective services above her phone. I thought she might be kidding, but she said she wasn’t. She promised herself she would call that number before she ever took her frustration out on her son, and it kept her from getting physically violent even when she felt like it.

Our oldest sons were so much alike! As first-time mothers, we were convinced they were both geniuses . . . not only in their insatiable curiosity about life and thirst for adventure, but also in their ability to oppose their mothers in every conceivable (and inconceivable) way. Sometimes Cheryl would call me, impersonating the voice of her son.

“Mrs. Armstwong, are you going crazy?”

“YES! Are you?”

“YES! Do you want to go to the mall?”

During the icy winter months, we often escaped with our children to the Briarwood Mall, with its endless maze of wide halls, escalators, stairways, fountains, and gleaming storefronts filled with tantalizing scents and sights to lure in shoppers. We didn’t shop, though! We wouldn’t have trusted our children inside the stores, but we did let them run (in theory “quietly and avoiding people”) through the hallways. It was the best way we knew to let them burn off some of their boundless energy during times when public parks were uninhabitably slippery and cold for toddling toes and noses.

Sigh. Happy times. Hard times! We are still friends today, and I’ll skip trying to share the huge middle chapters of our stories, but I’ve had two revelations: 1. I was right about retirement: Tom is gone, and Sue is alone. Being old and grey . . . and alone . . . isn’t to be prized too highly, so make every day count and stay present-minded. 2. Sue was right about retirement: Alan and I are loving retirement, because it gives us a chance to pursue our avocations! Medicine was his calling, and mothering was mine, but I’ve been delighted to discover how much we are energized by pursuing new “careers” and new chapters in our lives.

What an adventure life is! Every life! Yours too! We are writing our stories as we live our lives. For you who are young and just starting out, I hope you make every day special and a tale worth telling, even if it’s a story of coping with pain. For those of us who have survived to retirement, we can invest our lives in whatever we want—or better yet—in whatever God wants! What a privilege and responsibility! As C.S. Lewis reminds us, “You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” Oh, for a billion happy endings to the stories of our lives!

“You are our epistle written in our hearts, known and read of all men.”
(2 Corinthians 3:2)

(* Notes: My father retired in 1980. Since that time, the laws in Michigan have changed, and university professors no longer have to retire at age 65. Also, I will always change the names and a few facts [like locations] to protect the privacy of those I write about, although we did go to Briarwood Mall, and Alan was completing his residency through the University of Michigan. ALSO: a reader says the real author of the quote I attributed to Lewis is James Sherman from his 1982 book, Rejection: “You can’t go back and make a new start, but you can start right now and make a brand new ending.” Apparently it is commonly attributed to Lewis but has not been found in his writings.)

Passion and Productivity; Work and Vocation

How are you feeling about work these days? Do you love your job . . . or hate your job? Or . . . somewhere in between? Do you even have a job? If you could have any job you want, what would it be? Have you ever thought about the difference between a “job” and a “vocation”?

“Vocation is where our greatest passion meets the world’s greatest need” (Frederick Buechner). “Vocation” comes from Latin and means a “calling, or summons.” A true vocation comes from God. What do you see as the world’s greatest need? What is your greatest passion? Can you think of a way to use what you passionately love doing to help meet the world’s greatest need? This is likely God’s calling for you, although it may take you much of your life to get there!

I’ve also seen Beuchner quoted as saying “joy” (rather than “passion”). I don’t know if on various occasions he said it both ways, but I believe in his ideal. If we can find a job doing something that we believe in with a passion that energizes us . . . if we can make a living doing something that brings us true joy while ministering to the deep needs of others— what an ideal job that would be!

However, I think the majority of people are lucky to have work at all, and I’ll bet many fewer than 50% of people are presently working at their “ideal” job. This is one of the key issues with midlife crisis. People often feel “stuck,” unfulfilled, and overwhelmed by their workload. “Work” is called work because it’s hard, not because it’s fun or fulfilling or life-giving. We earn our keep by “the sweat of our face” (Genesis 3:19). Our Lord, in fulfilling his passionate purpose—to redeem us from sin through his death on the cross—was in agony and “sweat was as it were great drops of blood” (Luke 22:44). Still, Jesus “for the joy that was set before him endured the cross” (Hebrews 12:2). Somehow, Jesus was able to live out Beuchner’s ideal perfectly. Jesus’s greatest passion and joy intersected with our world’s greatest need: He died to save us from our sins and make it possible for us to be born again into eternal life.

I wonder, is it possible for us to reconcile our passion and joy with living a life so difficult we can hardly keep going? Jesus fell under the load of the cross, but he “set his face like a flint” and never gave up. Are we able to do the same?

During our work careers, God encourages us to work hard to provide for ourselves and our loved ones (see 1 Timothy 5:8). All honorable work is good work, and whether it’s tightening bolts on an automotive line or washing cars or sweeping floors, all such jobs help people and are worthy ways of supporting ourselves. No matter what we do to earn a living, God wants us to do it “heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ” (Colossians 3:23-24). If we do what we do to the best of our ability out of love for God and to love others, no matter how menial or difficult, we’re honoring God and can take joy in that!

However, I believe we have every reason and “right” to work hard toward the goal of obtaining a job where we can fully utilize our gifts and talents in a true vocation (see 1 Corinthians 7:21-22). Got a dream? Do you think it’s a dream God has given you? As we journey through this new year, let’s examine our lives. Are we doing “the right” thing? If not, what can we do to start working toward a true vocation? Also, how can we bring more passion and joy into our present job, so that we’re experiencing fulfillment right now?

Sue Thomas FBI

Looking for something exciting but inspirational to watch over the Christmas holidays? Sue Thomas, F.B.Eye is probably my all-time favorite detective series. It’s highly rated (7.2 on IMDb), family friendly (TV-PG), clean, funny, scary (not for little guys, because they deal with real crime issues), and best of all, it’s based (loosely) on the true-life experiences of Sue Thomas, who was the first deaf person to ever be hired by the F.B.I. as an undercover specialist.

Sue Thomas, F.B. Eye is jam-packed with action as a team of outstanding F.B.I. agents fight crime, but it’s also full of lighthearted moments between team members, and every episode also has a warm, personal angle where the agents are involved in helping someone.

Now, it’s entirely possible that you’ve already watched the series, as it came out in 2002-2005, including 56 episodes. (If so, you might want to skip most of what I’m going to write, but you still might want to scroll down to the bottom and enjoy the link that tells more of the life story of the true Sue Thomas.)

The real Sue Thomas was born in 1950 and is just my age! She was born able to hear but became profoundly deaf at 18 months for no known reason. Despite incredible challenges, she learned to play the piano, became the youngest Ohio State Champion free-style skater when she was only seven, and graduated from college with a degree in political science and international affairs.

Sue landed a job working for the F.B.I. identifying fingerprints but before long she was allowed to work undercover. In the TV-series, Sue Thomas’s role is played by Deanne Bray, who is also deaf!

Yannick Bisson plays the role of Jack Hudson, who was the real F.B.I. agent who took a chance on training Sue to join his undercover surveillance team.

And, Sue Thomas really did have a lovable “hearing” dog to help her with her work!

Between COVID and my recent hip surgery, I’ve been watching more videos than ever. Alan and I are now watching our third season, and so far I haven’t found myself disappointed even once!

I think no matter who you are, if you like detective shows, you’ll really enjoy Sue Thomas: F.B.Eye. However, if you are deaf, or know someone who’s deaf, I think this series is especially educational and inspirational. (Sue also wrote her autobiography, Silent Night, in 1990. I haven’t read it but am guessing it would be exceptional reading.)

To read a fuller account of the real Sue Thomas’s life, please check out this article, “God’s Undercover Agent: The Real Sue Thomas F.B.Eye”: https://inspiration.org/christian-articles/gods-undercover-agent-the-real-sue-thomas-f-b-eye/

“Let every thing that hath breath praise the Lord. Praise ye the Lord” (Psalm 150:6).

Commencement Addresses: Short, Sweet, Powerful

It’s never too late to hear wise words from great people, so even though spring graduation ceremonies are past for 2020 and we’re on to summer fun, I thought you might appreciate short excerpts from two of the most inspiring commencement addresses I’ve ever heard. The first was given by Lou Holtz, coaching icon from Notre Dame, and the second by line backer Rick Rigsby. His story is mesmerizing, memorable, and brought tears to my eyes.

“Therefore thus says the Lord God, ‘Behold, I am the one who has laid as a foundation in Zion, a stone, a tested stone, a precious cornerstone, of a sure foundation: ‘Whoever believes will not be in haste‘” (Isaiah 28:16, ESV).

“So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord” (Ephesians 2:19-21).

Ten Reasons Why I Loved Home Schooling

I know many of you are ready to pull out your hair with your kids confined to home 24/7, and I can’t even begin to imagine how hard it would be to have an emergency start in the middle of the year with kids in various grades, without any teaching manuals, and likely many parents trying to work remotely from home to boot. I totally and sincerely empathize! However, I also want to mention that home schooling, when planned for (and I spent my entire summers preparing for the school years), can be an amazing experience both for the parents and the kids.

Why am I on a soap box today shouting out praises for home schooling? Because some people are suggesting that home schools should be banned, probably based on personal frustrations over homeschooling, which is especially testing the patience and stability of homes during this COVID crisis.

If you’re among those who think homeschooling should be banned, please read this helpful article by a Harvard alum (PhD) who home schools her four children:

https://fee.org/articles/harvard-magazine-calls-for-a-presumptive-ban-on-homeschooling-here-are-5-things-it-got-wrong/?fbclid=IwAR3PCAm51mqVZ5PghJGFFs7Ywg2fgWYauoaP1xQrWIK-CR7uaWfSkCduJGU

Kerry McDonald isn’t unique in being a brilliant woman who values her children’s education above her own career ambitions. My closest friend during our early homeschooling years had a PhD in statistics from Princton and gave up a glowing career to home school. Today I have friends who are both physicians, although the wife gave up her career to home school their beautiful family and told me not long ago that their oldest was just accepted into her alma mater for university training, so she felt relieved to know she hadn’t “failed” her kids.

I started homeschooling not because I thought it was a brilliant idea, but as a result of economic duress (which meant we couldn’t afford tuition for the Christian school where we were sending our two oldest). I was lamenting about our financial situation to my best friend, and she responded, “Kathi, the Lord is just backing you into a blessing! Try home schooling.” I didn’t think it would be possible. My oldest was eight and almost uncontrollable, not to mention the other three were two, four, and six.

We started timidly, thinking we’d just home school for one year, but by the end of the year no one was interested in returning to a regular class room setting. Why? Well, here were some of the unexpected pluses:

1. More freedom and time to grow and explore creatively. I think the biggest plus for my kids was the fact that as soon as they were done with their school work, they were free to pursue their own interests. They didn’t have to sit and wait for everybody else in the class to finish, which really cut down on boredom. The eager beavers also put positive pressure on their sibs to get done so they could play.
2. More input by parents as to what the children are learning. I don’t know if this meant much to our children, but it meant a lot to me. I loved being able to tailor our curriculum so that I was teaching the children spiritual and moral values as well as academic lessons.
3. Better able to tailor curriculum to fit your child’s individual needs. Not all kids are born academically equal, so to speak. I am deeply grateful for public education being available for all children in America, but of necessity it has to be geared for the average child, so children on either end of the spectrum do not have their needs met as ably. The closer to the ends of the bell-shaped curve, the less public schools are geared to meet the true needs of the child. So, home schooling is especially helpful both for children who have learning challenges and for those are particularly gifted.
4. Requires (and therefore develops) more independence on the part of the students. A dedicated teacher who only has to teach one grade or subject can focus all their attention on that subject or class during the day, and schools have a complete support staff to oversee all the other aspects of the children’s care. A mother in a home has to provide for every aspect of the school. She’s not only the teacher, she may be replacing several teachers (one per grade level or subject). She is also the principal, the maintenance man, the recess supervisor, the cafeteria personnel, and the child care worker (for any preschoolers). I remember being consoled by learning that butterflies need to fight for themselves to emerge from their cocoons in order for their wings to become strong enough to fly. My kids would get so frustrated waiting for me to finish helping someone else that they’d often figure out the problem before I could get back to them. It forced them to THINK!
5. Less “seat” time and more “hands on” time for learning. Learning didn’t end when classes ended. In many ways, I felt like the kids learned more in their free time than during their academic studies. They probably learned more “facts” studying math, science, history, English, spelling etc., but they learned more about how to live by living and doing.
6. More flexibility as a family. This was a huge advantage! Whenever Alan was available for a vacation week, the rest of us could go anywhere with him. We didn’t have to juggle nine schedules! My personal theory was that I didn’t want any kid to miss any really cool opportunity, and that was pretty consistently true over the years. If a special occasion came up, we could make time for it. (Just one small for instance, but Jon loved trains as a child, and one day he [and I] got to take a train ride with a real, live engineer (who was a patient of Alan’s). We could always take time to enjoy special community or church events, etc. Life was rich with unexpected prospects for adventures and learning experiences.
7. Bonds the family together. There is nothing quite so bonding as working side by side on positive projects, and spending your life working and playing together makes for some pretty tight, lifelong friendships. All of my kids are still very interactive with each other. Not all with all, but all with some. We were always active in a church community wherever we lived, and the kids also played with neighbor children (when there were any) and cousins, but to this day the kids still text and share and think and dream and joke together.
8. More variety and opportunity to teach and learn life skills. Before we started home schooling, we asked the kids if they’d rather go to the local elementary school or try home schooling, with the understanding that if we home schooled, they’d have to help me with family chores. They all signed on to the experiment of homeschooling, and they all learned how to do pretty much everything I knew how to do. We had rotating assignments for almost all aspects of home and yard care. We cooked, cleaned, babysat, shopped, gardened, and canned together. In the evenings after Alan came home from work, we played sports together—hockey, softball, tag football, volleyball . . . swimming, hiking, biking . . . whatever was going wherever we lived. They all had to learn how to play the piano, read music, and sing; they all learned how to sew on buttons and iron shirts. They learned how to handle money. They got comfortable with people of all ages. We got involved in a family music ministry and sang in rescue missions, camps, churches, nursing homes and college campuses. They learned to care about other people. They were eager to talk to adults and children . . . people of all ages. Shaking your hand and looking you straight in the eye came naturally.
9. Better use of family financial resources. When we realized we wouldn’t be able to afford tuition for our kids, the school offered me a job teaching high school English. However, I had two preschoolers whom I was unwilling to put into child care (which had nothing to do with the excellent school but everything to do with my passionate desire to care for my own little ones). Over the years, Alan would notice articles detailing the additional expenses incurred by a second family member working outside the home, and by most accounts, unless the second job is really high paying, it’s a “wash” as far as expenses and additional income. According to the 2015 documentary on The Happiest People on Earth, once a family has about $50 thousand (not sure exactly what the amount would be today), there is no perceptible increase in “happiness” no matter how much more the family earns (according to self-reporting research). In fact, the happiest people on the earth are not the richest monetarily, they are the richest in the love of family and community. Not only did we save thousands of dollars by home schooling, I believe it greatly enriched our family life . . . a trade I’d make any day!!
10. More control over influences in your children’s lives. We all love positive influences in our lives, but the more we can control negative influences, the better. Homeschooling doesn’t eliminate negative influences by any means, but hopefully it will lessen them. I also believe that the older a child is before being exposed to evil, the better able that youngster will be to recognize and handle problems. That being said, I failed to understand that evil lurks in the hearts of children (as well as adults, although I already knew that). If you home school, don’t assume your little cherubs are perfect and would be beyond lying, cheating, or any other problem that all people find tempting. We’re all just humans and need watchful supervision at all times! (One small case in point: One of my kids years later admitted to cheating on math during fifth grade. He kept wondering when I would catch him but finally realized I never would! [It didn’t cross my mind to suspect him.] Thankfully, when he realized that, he became honest because he knew that’s what he needed to do.)
    

“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it” (1 Corinthians 10:13, ESV).

If you have time, I’d love to hear your comments. If you home school or home schooled, any advice or tips? If you’re struggling with home schooling right now, any questions? If you’re considering home schooling next fall, anything else you’d like to hear about? Blessings~