Quotes on Aging —Just for Fun

“It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” – Andy Rooney

“Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.” – Anonymous

“Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.” – Jennifer Yane

“I’m so old that my blood type is discontinued.” – Bill Dane

“The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.” – Mark Twain

“Old people shouldn’t eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.” – Robert Orben

“I’ve never known a person who lives to be 110 who is remarkable for anything else.” —Josh Billings

“At my age ‘getting lucky’ means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for.” – Unknown

“The idea is to die young as late as possible.” – Ashley Montagu

“The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.” – Will Rogers

“We must recognize that, as we grow older, we become like old cars – more and more repairs and replacements are necessary.” – C.S. Lewis

“Old age comes at a bad time.” – San Banducci

“Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it.” – Golda Meir

“Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes, age just shows up all by itself.” – Tom Wilson

“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” – Kitty O’Neill Collins

“I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.” – Bob Hope

“Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your retirement home.” – Phyllis Diller

“I don’t plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.” – Rita Rudner

“I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do.” – Phyllis Diller

“Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.” – George Burns

“Don’t let aging get you down. It’s too hard to get back up.” – John Wagner

“Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings, and you hope it isn’t for you.” – Ogden Nash

“It’s important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle.” – Unknown

“At my age, flowers scare me.” – George Burns

“I have successfully completed the thirty-year transition from wanting to stay up late to just wanting to go to bed.” – Unknown

“Nobody expects to trust his body much after the age of fifty.” – Alexander Hamilton

“The years between 50 and 70 are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down.” – T.S. Elliot

“At age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.” – Ann Landers

“When I was young, I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties, I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then, and I’m labeled senile.” – George Burns

“I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past.” – Robert Brault

“The important thing to remember is that I’m probably going to forget.” – Unknown

“As you get older three things happen. First, your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” – Sir Norman Wisdom

“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” – Larry Lorenzon

“The older I get, the better I used to be.” – Lee Trevino

“I’m 59 and people call me middle-aged. How many 118-year-old men do you know?”- Barry Cryer

“By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only must remember it.” – George Burns

“Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.” – Maurice Chevalier

“Getting older. I used to be able to run a 4-minute mile, bench press 380 pounds, and tell the truth.” – Conan O’Brien

Okay, so I never drank beer, but we did stay up
drinking coffee and eating pizza!

“I don’t do alcohol anymore—I get the same effect just standing up fast.” – Anonymous

“You know you are getting old when everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.” – Hy Gardner

“To get back to my youth I would do anything in the world, except exercise, get up early, or be respectable.” – Oscar Wilde

“When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.” – Mark Twain

“There’s one advantage to being 102, there’s no peer pressure.” – Dennis Wolfberg

“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” – George Burns

“I feel very young. At age 80 I had to learn to hold a spoon and walk upright again.” – Ian Teuty

“I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam.”- George Carlin

(“Over 60” joke shared by Sarah Jaeschke)

Many of these jokes were passed along to me by my oldest brother, who at 83 is now living out the cartoon my father used to keep on his door: “If people improve with age, I’m approaching magnificent!” However, I’m just about to celebrate my 72nd birthday and find the jokes painfully funny at my age as well! Hope they make you laugh rather than cringe! 🙂 On the other hand, if they make you cringe, please join me in turning our hearts to Jesus, in whom we can find rest, peace, and hope for our future.

Shared by Susan Main

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).

“And even to your old age I am he; and even to hoar hairs will carry you: I have made, and I will bear; even I will carry, and will deliver you” (Isaiah 46:4).

“Remember also your Creator in the days of your youth, before the evil days come and the years draw near of which you will say, ‘I have no pleasure in them'” (Ecclesiastes 12:1).

Light Reflections

They were such simple moments, and it’s a truth we’ve all experienced a thousand times, but it struck me again last summer. Alan and I were sharing our morning devotional time, praying together in our favorite loveseat, heads bowed and eyes closed.

Sunrise sunshine streaming through our woods

Light was streaming in behind us from the early morning sun. I knew it was a cloudless summer day, and I felt a sense of warmth and comfort on the back of my head, although there was no direct light shining on my face. Suddenly, I felt a brightness, like someone had turned a big light on. Confused, I opened my eyes to see what had happened. Alan had reached up with his arm to rub his neck. His bronzed arm, just inches from my face, caught the light and reflected it back toward me with remarkable power. I was amazed! A tanned arm could reflect a sunbeam with enough radiance to make me aware of it with my eyes closed? Yes!

Monarch caterpillar on milkweed

After breakfast, we went out for our usual morning walk, and as we strolled down the lane, the sunlight was again at our backs. I was drinking in the delicate sweetness of milkweed flowers and listening to the cheerful songs of robins and a tufted titmouse. Black mulberries were dropping from the trees along our lane and wild black raspberries were beginning to ripen. I knew the grandchildren would soon be picking fruit and looking for Nana to help make pies and jam! Summer is such a happy time!

Cabbage butterfly on Salvia

Just then, it happened again! As a little cabbage butterfly danced in and out of a patch of salvia, the sun struck its delicate white wings with such power that they lit up and sent the sunbeam right back to me.

As humans, we don’t have to be pure white in order to reflect the sunshine of God’s love; we just have to lift our arms and catch the light! I am like a tiny cabbage butterfly. Insignificant, white with little black spots . . . but it doesn’t matter! If I’m flying in the light, I’ll catch the light and reflect the light. I am not the light. I don’t have to be the light. All I have to do is be in the light and busily attending to daily life! God will do the rest. He can cause the light of His love and presence, reflected from me, to open closed eyes and delight others on their pilgrim way!

Sunlight streaming through the window when we visited St. Peter’s Cathedral, Rome

“But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another,
and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin” (1 John 1:7).

“Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life” (John 8:12).

Applesauce and Walnut Pancakes

To kick off fall this week, I made some applesauce pancakes for breakfast. It’s a super simple alternative to regular pancakes with a little taste of fall mixed in! Here’s how:

Applesauce and Walnut Pancakes
(Makes six 4-inch pancakes)

In a mixing bowl, combine:
1 cup of your favorite pancake mix
1 cup applesauce
1 egg
1/4 cup chopped walnuts (I used raw, unsalted, but any kind works)
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon

Stir with a spoon until well blended, then spoon onto a hot, well-buttered griddle and fry to about 2 minutes on each side.

These are a little thicker than buttermilk pancakes, so I heat my griddle to only 350°F. (rather than hotter), which gives them a little longer to fry without burning.

They definitely need to be served with butter and syrup or caramel sauce (ice cream topping). If you want to get extra festive for company, consider adding a little chopped, fresh apple and a few more nuts on top as a garnish.

But, the old-fashioned way with maple syrup and whipped cream is also hard to beat! Happy Fall, Ya’ll!! 🙂

Precious Father, we thank You for our food each day and pray You bless your world with food for those who hunger, both physically and spiritually. Thank you for sending the Bread of Life —Jesus—down from heaven as Manna to fill our hungry hearts.

“But thou, O Lord, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head.”
(Psalm 3:3)

I Didn’t Cry, by Jane Anderson

When my daughter died, I didn’t cry. Months passed. People showered sympathy over me and sprinkled compassion in conversations. My daughter died. I didn’t cry. It’s been twelve years, and I’m still processing it. Some might call it mourning, but that’s not accurate, because by definition, mourning is when you experience deep sadness after a loss. I’m not sad.

At age 22, Tammie had a tumor removed from her spine. Her doctor said the tumor was gone but she could have ‘issues’ in the future; a recurrence or something unknown. The tumor didn’t return, but when she was 26 years old, she was diagnosed with relapsing remitting MS. Each time she had an exacerbation, it affected her vision and ability to walk. I understand this now, but – – and this is why I am still processing.

This is why I have chosen to write about my daughter’s life and how I could have made it better if I had taken the time to understand. Countless times I have suddenly been struck with a memory that hurts my heart, and I ask God to please go tell Tammie. I wish I had reacted more lovingly or expressed my opinion more gently, or said something encouraging to uplift her. I have learned that long after death, the message and the memories go on.

First, you will need to know that I lived in Michigan, and she lived in Atlanta or Hotlanta as she described it. We saw each other less than once a year over the course of ten years as her health declined.

As a mother, I saw what I wanted to see, but looking back there are flashes of memories that make me cringe when those tapes play over and over in my head. By sharing a few of them, I hope it helps someone else going through a similar circumstance to react with grace and understanding instead of ambivalence.

I’m not a telephone person. I remember getting phone calls different times. “Mom, I just wanted to hear your voice.” I thanked her for her sweet comment, but then rushed the conversation – because you know, there was something else going on that was more interesting than a phone call. (repeat)

We were shopping at a grocery store when Tammie’s legs gave out and she could barely walk. I didn’t understand this behavior and complained as I had to rush out to get my car pulled up to the curb while someone else, who was the perfect example of care and compassion, helped her to the car. To say that this memory (repeat) causes me severe grief is a mild confession. I realize we are to forgive ourselves as God forgives us, but I am still working on that one.

“Mom, why doesn’t God send someone to love me and marry me? Will you pray for a husband for me?” I said I would pray for a husband, and I did, but not as diligently and as fervently as I promised. (repeat) God has used this memory to teach me to pray often, without giving up. Especially for the important things, the life-changing things, the things that matter, things that impact the future.

There are more tapes that replay, sometimes incessantly, but God is gracious. He comforts my agitated heart with his peace and promises. God has reminded me through this that He never loses track of his children. He knew all about Tammie’s life and my life before we were ever born.

He reminds me that we are all imperfect people, living in a broken world. God only asks that we be faithful and not lose hope. On one trip to Atlanta, I attended church with Tammie. I know that she believed that Jesus died for her and that as it says in John 14, there is a home prepared for her in heaven.

It has taken years for me to write about an event that is tragic for every parent. I have stopped wondering why. Instead, I thank God that in his divine providence He said yes to the desire of Tammie’s heart. No, not for a husband, but for peace. In her last visit home, a year before she died, she was having a rough time. Rough isn’t even the right word. She was experiencing little earthquakes everywhere. One morning, after a particularly stressful night, she said, “Mom. I just want to go see Grandma.”

So, you see. I’m not mourning. I’m not sad. I am rejoicing in the expectation that I will see my daughter again, and she will be perfect. Her legs will work. Her vision will be 20/20. I believe she is with her grandma. They are visiting every day, and they are helping God prepare a place in heaven for me and other family members who love Jesus.

What Memories Will They Have? (by Jane Anderson)

Many years ago I read the book by Steven Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People. I can’t say the book changed my life, but if asked, I could probably still recite the list of habits. One, however was seared into my mind and frequently comes back to me.  You may have guessed it’s “Begin With the End in Mind.”  The deep meaning behind that thought consistently impacts my acts and reactions.

If you don’t know the analogy, let me help you out.  In his book, Covey asks his readers to imagine being at their own funeral and observing what the guests say about them.  I know.  Morbid! But embedded in that statement is the reality that our lives are made up moments all strung together that make us who we are and what we become.

Envision what you want to be remembered for and think about what you want people to say about you when you’re not here. Somewhere in those thoughts and visions is your purpose statement.

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I am now closer to age 70 than 65 and still have the same choices today that I had 20 years ago. How will I use the moments I’ve been given?

Someone said, “Nobody gets out of here alive.” At any given point, until we are no longer here, we have opportunity to become what we might have been. We have stitched together opportunities that are life defining. On a personal level, what are my beliefs, my values, and attitudes that characterize me?

I’m convicted of how many times I say, “I want to . . .” or “I should do ….” I catch myself falling into the pattern of aimless wandering because I lose focus and forget what I want to be remembered for.

Let me clarify wandering because it’s more than distraction from things to accomplish in a day or a week. We all have lists of things to do. In fact, lists can keep us on track so we remember things that need to be done, but we are more than our to do lists.

For a few moments think about your family and consider friends, including people you know only from online connections. If you asked them right this minute to describe you, what would they say? Are you satisfied with the answers? If you are, do more of that. What if your answers aren’t favorable? You still have time to change it. You can stop wandering and focus on becoming who you want to be.

When I consider all those moments that have become my life, what do I want to be remembered for? I’ve thought of a few.

Faith in God and complete trust in His sovereignty:  While this sounds simple, it’s a serious act of turning over my will to God’s will even when I don’t understand His ways.

My relationships – wife, mother, grandmother, sister, friend:  My role is to be loving, attentive, empathetic, authentic, involved, thoughtful, encouraging, supportive, and spread infectious joy.

Personally: Be discerning, live with integrity, be diligent, act with kindness, take care of my physical body, strengthen my mind, guard my heart and mind from deceit and wrong, be joyful.

Employee, co-worker:  Did I carry my fair share of the work, be a team player, be genuinely supportive no matter what? Was I trustworthy and loyal? Did I practice gratitude, be complimentary, give recognition, project joy?

Much of my list is comprised of attitudes which in reality are the foundation of how I’ve built my life. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues [attitudes] of life.” 

I’ve never met anyone who lives more than one moment at a time. In fact, I don’t know of anyone who has more than 60 seconds in a minute or 24 hours in a day.  In Ephesians 5, I read the instruction to make the most of every opportunity. 

When people remember me, I hope they use these words: unshakable faith, kind, compassionate, made others feel like they matter, involved, eternal cheerleader, supportive, encourager, attitude of gratitude, enthusiastic, positive, lover of life, infectious joy.

Most of all I want to be remembered for being who God intended me to be and that regardless of all the defective decisions I’ve made through my lifetime, He was able to take the broken and rebuild them for good.  I am His workmanship, created by Christ Jesus to do good works (Ephesians 2:10). And, when I say good bye to this life I want to leave singing 2 Timothy 4:7,  “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”

The Servant Queen and the King She Served

Did you attend (online) the funeral service for Queen Elizabeth II this morning?

We did (along with perhaps billions of others).

Thanks to CNN and broadcasting systems around the world, we got a birds’-eye view into one of the most historically significant events of our lifetime.

Westminster Abbey in London

The state funeral was held in Westminster Abbey.

It was attended not only by her family and friends,

but by heads of state from around the world because the queen was so well respected and loved.

Thoughts from Liz Truss, Britain’s Prime Minister

Archbishop of Canterbury

There were scripture readings from 1 Corinthians 15 and Romans 8, many prayers, and several wonderful anthems, some written specifically for milestones in Queen Elizabeth’s life (like her coronation and funeral).

There were also beautiful hymns sung by all to remind us of the Lord, who is our shepherd, and of his wonderful love for us.

The family of Prince William while singing about the love of Christ,
“Love Divine All Loves Excelling,” which was also sung at their wedding

I hope you’ll take time to view the state funeral whether or not you were up in time to see it streamed live earlier today.

This link shows you the ongoing funeral services and what’s happening right now.
To see the service at Westminster, you may have to google for it later tonight.

It was sober but joy-filled, sad but hopeful. “We will meet again” the queen reminded her loved ones shortly before she died, and every expression, prayer, and hymn offered were reminders of this truth.

The royal piper, who played for 15 minutes every night at bedtime,
whether or not the queen was there to hear him play!

The only book written about her that she endorsed with a personal foreward

To my mind, the most wonderful thing about Queen Elizabeth was her devotion to her God and Savior, Jesus Christ.

She saw herself as the devoted follower of Jesus, who came from heaven to serve and save all people—whosoever will!

Jesus was the servant king, and Elizabeth II attempted to follow in his steps as a servant queen for her people.

When she was only twenty-one, Elizabeth pledged to serve the people of Great Britain for her entire life. This was before she was the queen and before anyone had pledged their allegiance to her!

This reminds me of Jesus, who pledged his life to save anyone who is willing—long before any of us were born! “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). I can hardly wait to join the throngs of those who celebrate and adore Jesus forever in heaven!

Meanwhile, may we live lives inspired by Queen Elizabeth’s example as someone who spent every day of her life trying to be the best she could be.

Was she perfect? Of course not! None of us are, no matter how hard we try! That’s why Jesus had to die in our place. Jesus was the only sinless one— God in the flesh, who lived a perfect life and died so that through His death we can have forgiveness for our sins and the gift of rebirth, becoming a child of God and an inheritor of His eternal life.

We’ll never be perfect on this earth, but may we live such that our lights shine for Jesus, like dear, sweet Queen Elizabeth did so admirably!

“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works,
and glorify your Father which is in heaven” (Matthew 5:16).

This video captures the queen singing “Love Divine” at Westminster in 2020

S’more Fun and S’more Cookies

Last weekend we had the huge joy and privilege of being with our son Michael’s family to celebrate two birthdays and a first soccer game:

Sweet Thirteen!

Nycteris magically turned into a teenager, but she’s still as sweet as sugar!

(Judah on the right, just about to kick the ball)

Judah played his first team soccer game!

Psyche turned two! She’s totally adorable but definitely has a ‘tude about her, which I think comes from being so utterly loved and understood by her doting family.

Vegan Rainbow cake resting on puffy clouds of gluten-free cupcakes

Nycteris is a young lady with many talents , and lately she’s really gotten interested in baking. For instance, she designed, baked, and decorated her own “rainbow cake” for her birthday party!

Since one of the guests has to be gluten-free, she even developed a recipe for gluten-free cupcakes so nobody would be left out !

Nycteris also developed her own recipe for vegan “s’more” cookies, and it’s so yummy that I want to pass it along to you. Perfect for fall or winter weather when you might not have freedom to build a fire and make s’mores, but you’re hankering for that taste.

She started with a recipe she found online by “Pure Kayle,” but Nycteris made it her own by changing so much (and adding vegan/reduced fat touches, mini-marshmallows, etc.) that I think she can definitely consider it her own adaptation inspired by Pure Kayle. Here it is:

Adapted recipe from Nycteris’s cooking journal

VEGAN S’MORES
(Makes 32 cookies)
(could also be not vegan if you use regular dairy products )

Preheat the oven to 350°F.

In a large mixing bowl, combine:
1/2 cup plant-based butter or peanut butter
2 cups sugar (Nycteris uses panela)
1/2 cup milk (almond or any other type)
4 teaspoons vanilla extract
3 cups all-purpose flour (can use part whole-wheat)
1 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon. Either read the directions above, or combine all these and blend until completely consistent, then add:
1 cup crushed graham crackers
1.5 cups ( 12 oz) vegan chocolate chunks
1.5. cups vegan mini-marshmallows (or regular-sized cut into cubes)

Mix gently, then form into 1-2″ balls and place about 12 per baking sheet. Bake 13-15 minutes until they start to turn a golden color. They will be soft when you remove them from the oven but will firm up nicely in a few minutes. Enjoy! We certainly did. 🙂 Thank you, Nycteris. It’s so fun to have a grand daughter old enough to be a creative cook . . . and one who’s willing to share her recipes with her Nana and friends!

Nycteris with cookie mix gifts to send to her cousins

She even developed a recipe using the dry ingredients so all someone needs to add is milk and vanilla, and she made two jars to send home with us for her GR cousins! What a blessing!!

(Extra cupcakes Nycteris baked and decorated for Psyche’s birthday party)

“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.”
(Proverbs 31:10)

Alan and I with Mike’s family at their church last Sunday

Three Doses of Paddington Sweetness for Your Honeys

Looking for some innocent, good-natured fun for your family movie nights? Over the summer, my daughter and her family (three grade-school-aged kids) were able to stay with us for a month while her husband worked remotely. They introduced us to two of their favorite movies that we’d somehow missed: Paddington, and Paddington 2.

Paddington, 2014 , PG, 7.2 IMDb

The family who finds Paddington is (of course) pretty zany, but well-intentioned and definitely compassionate toward the little bear who’s come from darkest Peru to find a new home in London.

Paddington accidentally gets into all sorts of mischief because he’s so curious, but isn’t that what happens, even to the best of bears?

Paddington 2, 2017, PG, 7.8 IMDb

Perhaps for the first time in our family history, we liked the sequel even better than the first story (as did the critics), although one really needs to understand Paddington’s history (developed in the first movie) to fully appreciate the second movie.

Although Paddington definitely has a good heart and never intends to hurt anybody,

in Paddington 2 he somehow manages to get into big-time trouble while taking on some odd jobs in order to save up money to buy his Aunt Lucy a gift for her 100th birthday.

Paddington pursues a very quirky and perfectly funny bad guy (Hugh Grant) who through trickery evades the cops,

leaving Paddington to take the wrap. 😦

However, even in prison, his steadfast integrity and goodness have a positive affect on his fellow inmates.

What happens in the end? Well, let’s just say children who watch will go to bed smiling that night, pleased that good overcame evil and hopeful that if they are earnest and persevere in always trying to do the right things, everything will turn out well in the end.

“Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:21).

“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: 
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever” (Psalm 23:6).

P.S.—Perhaps you’ve all seen this by now, but I have always admired Queen Elizabeth and think of her as an example of English-style goodness. She spent her life trying to serve her people and her heavenly Father. Did you know that she’s had a bread, butter, and jam sandwich almost every day of her life since she was eight? At any rate, she will be greatly missed! This little skit of sharing tea with Paddington Bear was made for her jubilee this year. If you haven’t seen it, it will make you smile! God bless you all!

Do You Ever Write Letters to God?

Life for many is full of pain and suffering. Have you noticed? Last week I wrote about two movies addressing the crisis in our country around school safety. This week, I want to share a couple of happier stories. Today’s movie is Letters to God, based on the victorious, true story of a little boy who did it right and inspired everybody around him despite a life of pain and suffering.

Tyler Doherty (real name “Doughtie”) was only eight years old when he was diagnosed with an aggressive brain tumor, a medulloblastoma. Even 30 radiation treatments over four months couldn’t stop this terrible illness. The treatments made Tyler sick and weak, but it didn’t stop his spirit from radiating faith and joy.

How did he deal with his questions and concerns?

“Letters to God,” 2010, PG

He turned to God in prayer, writing literal letters which he sent to God via the U.S. postal service.

Tyler’s life was a testament to the “peace that passes understanding” Christ gives those who trust in Him completely. Instead of being self-focused, Tyler spent his time loving others and being concerned for them. This much is true, although the real Tyler had a younger sister and a baby brother, not an older brother and a best school chum.

In the movie, Tyler’s dad has passed and his mom is frantically trying to care for the kids and make ends meet by herself, but in reality, Ty’s father was 100% invested in taking care of his son and so heartbroken afterward that for two years he turned his back on God. It was only after he recommitted his life to Christ that he began to heal and felt inspired to write the story. I almost wonder if the mailman (a fictitious character who had to figure out what to do with the letters and was struggling with his own failures and broken heart) in some ways reflected the father’s (Patrick Doughtie’s) personal sense of lostness during that time.

I couldn’t find enough details to know how closely the movie mirrored Tyler’s true-life experiences, but I think the emotional and spiritual heart of the story shines through as real. Patrick took a screen-writing class to prepare and worked hard to write an account that helps fellow sufferers with the gnawing issues, like how to handle the strangeness of classmates who don’t understand and the feelings of being unseen that inevitably hurt the siblings who aren’t ill.

If you have a child who is ill—or love someone who’s living through a terminal illness in their family—this movie is especially worth watching. There’s also a great interview with Patrick here: https://www.learnreligions.com/interview-with-patrick-doughtie-701206. I’ll quote just a few favorite thoughts, but it’s not a long read and I found it very helpful. Here are a few bits of counsel from Patrick to those who are going through these deep waters:

What advice would he give parents? To stay strong, hopeful, and focused on getting the best treatment possible, which can sometimes cure and often mitigate the course of the cancer. Ask all the questions you can think of and don’t worry about sounding foolish. Keep connected with family and church supports. Network with other families going through similar struggles. “Submerge yourself in the family. Keep your faith.”

The real “Ty” and his baby brother

Patrick was also open about how hard it was for his pregnant wife and daughter, who got so little of his attention. He reminds people to be empathetic with those around who may not be grieving as deeply but are still in pain. Don’t isolate yourself. Remember to share your grief with your family, not withdraw from them. Draw closer to God and lean on Him.

Advice for the church? Patrick responded, “I feel that as a church, the best thing you can offer someone dealing with these types of trials is to listen.”

I remember years ago when a lady from our church was losing her husband to cancer. I asked what I could do, and she asked if we could meet together every week during the Sunday school hour and just pray together, which we did. Although, really, she spent most of the time talking and I spent most of the time listening, because I was much younger and had no experience to share. I felt empathetic but totally inadequate, although looking back, that might have been just what she needed! We can’t solve other people’s problems, but we can care, and we can listen.

And, we can pray! If you’re struggling with loss, consider prayer journaling . . . writing letters to God. You might not need to send them to Him through the mail, though. He hears the cries of our heart, and He cares. Beth Moore teaches that God saves some of us from the fire, some in the fire, and some through the fire.

“When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee” (Isaiah 43:2).

Stir-fry Bonanza

Sometimes the thing to do is just make a big stir fry from all your favorite veggies! I think you can’t lose—so anything goes, but here’s a stir fry inspired by my son Michael that even the youngest generation enjoyed. You can use the same seasonings (only ± depending on how many veggies) and add whatever you have on hand, like broccoli, carrots, corn, etc. Anyway, here it one version, fresh from our table last summer!

Summer Stirfry
(Serves 6-10 when ladled over rice)

First, start by preparing your rice (according to directions on the package) and all your veggies. All the veggies need to be washed and chopped or torn into bite-sized (or smaller) pieces:

1 eggplant
1 red onion
1 pound sugar-snap peas
2 large stalks celery
1 yellow bell pepper
1 red bell pepper
1 bunch kale (deveined)
1 bunch bok choy
2 teaspoons finely chopped ginger root

In a wok or large skillet, start by stiry-frying the eggplant and onion in 2 tablespoons of sesame oil. Add other vegetables one at a time, adding these condiments and spices:
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1 tablespoon rice vinegar
1 tablespoon garlic (minced, pressed, or flakes)
1 tablespoon honey
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/2 teaspoon chili flakes

The goal is for the veggies to be tender while retaining their color. Over a hot stove, this can be accomplished in 6-12 minutes. A little crunchy is better than a lot limp. Serve immediately over steaming rice or with other sides. Sorry I don’t have any photos of the finished product, but you probably know how it goes when you have lots of kids!

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice” (Philippians 4:4).