Category Archives: Rise Up My Love

Commentary on the Song of Solomon

Rise Up, My Love (244): What’s Hidden Under Your Palate?

Song of Solomon 7:9 “…that goeth down sweetly, causing the lips of those that are asleep to speak.” What in the world (or in heaven!) does this mean? The verb translated “goeth down” is the Hebrew halak, also rendered “flowing, going, or walking” in other passages (Carr, 163). The Hebrew word translated “sweetly” is meshar, more literally translated as “evenness; equity; smoothness; uprightness; righteously.”* It is the same Hebrew word used in 1:4, “We will remember thy love more than wine: the upright love thee.”   I believe there is a key in this repetition from an earlier theme, but let’s come back to it in a few moments. What the KJV renders “cause…to speak” is the Hebrew dabab, and is unknown in Hebrew apart from this use, although the Akkadian dababu “plot; plan” and the Arabic dabub, “talebearer” may be cognates according to Carr (163).** Other translations use such alternate terms as “gliding” or “flowing gently” (although why…I don’t know!). The last two Hebrew words in the passage are sipte (literally rendered “lips”) and yesenim (“sleeping ones”). Perhaps one of the more accurate alternate translation for this portion of the phrase is: “stirring the lips of sleepers”.*** (Gordis, 97).   This seems consistent with both the literal meaning of the Hebrew words and the KJV but does not shed much additional light on what the text means. So, put it all together, and what do we have? First, the subject is “the roof of thy mouth,” i.e. the wife’s palate. Everyone knows what the literal roof of the mouth is, so physically there’s no mystery. It seems most likely that King Solomon was indeed commenting on how much he loved french-kissing his wife (although the pleasure didn’t yet have such a name, since there were no “French” in those days!)   The rest of the verse is still somewhat of a puzzle in the physical realm, although the best explanation I found was this: “…one thing emerges as certain: Shulamith’s kisses have an intoxicating effect on Solomon. However, there were no ill side effects, and Solomon could enjoy this ‘wine’ continually.”* (Patterson, 109).

Spiritually, I would hazard a guess that the palate refers to the highest subject of the wife’s speech…and I can think of no loftier subject than the praises of her Lord and God, which “flow sweetly…uprightly.” Expanding a little on the thoughts of Henry van Dyke, what is a more noble delight than taking the colors and forms of our life’s experience and weaving them into a beautiful garment to clothe our thoughts of God? So, the taste of his wife’s praises are like the “best wine,” i.e. his greatest joy. Perhaps it is the husband’s use of this imagery that reminds the bride of her earlier exclamation: “We will remember thy love more than wine: the upright love thee” (1:4). His love is even more wonderful than her greatest earthly joy, and all those who are “upright” (true believers?) love him too.

Gary Smalley, in his wonderful series, Hidden Keys to Loving Relationships, points out that men need to feel “adequate.” Let’s add that to our list of “A” words: assure him that he’s more than adequate! Adulate him, even as our Lord loves adulation and praise! Could it have been such a thought that caused her to join him at this point and add, “for my beloved!” Her praises are all for him! There is no one else—there is nothing else—that causes her lips to overflow with such joyous speech. Her praises flow “sweetly” and “smoothly,” in righteousness and uprightness. There is nothing rough or sullied or impure about the praises or the one being praised; all is holy and beautiful…as is our Lord!    “Causing the lips of those that are asleep to speak.” After a month of asking everyone wise friend I knew, even “men in high places”…although no one spontaneously interpreted the passage the same way I did, no one refuted my interpretation either. Could it be that the “sleeping ones” are those who are “sleeping” in sin, i.e. the unbelievers, or at the least those who because of sin have become insensible to spiritual things?  It is the bride who is speaking. She is speaking in praise of her bridegroom husband, the Lord Jesus Christ. She is extolling his wonders. Doesn’t it seem reasonable that the highest thoughts of her heart—her adulation of her wonderful savior and king—will be so irresistibly sweet that it will arouse those who have been stupefied into lethargy by their sinful lives to speak…to “plot,” to “plan” to “tell tales”…to ask questions…to be aroused into dissatisfaction with their existential lives and search for this marvelous love and lover? Oh, Lord, may our speech be as sweet to you! May our praises cause even the lips of those who are sleeping yet in their sins to speak of you and search for you!

(All photos taken a few days ago at the John Ball Zoo in Grand Rapids.)

*Paige Patterson, Song of Solomon (Chicago:  Moody, 1986), 108-109.

** G. Lloyd Carr, The Song of Solomon: An Introduction and Commentary (Downer’s Grove, IL: Intervarsity Press, 1984), 163.

*** R. Gordis, The Song of Songs and Lamentations, (KTAV, 1974), 97.

Rise Up, My Love (243): Wedding Vows

Song of Solomon 7:9 “For my beloved.” Yes, all that we are and have is for our beloved. In this physical world we give such allegiance to our beloved spouse, but in a deeper sense—in a way that encompasses both the physical and the spiritual—we give all that we are and have to our beloved bridegroom, the Lord Jesus Christ…for time and for all eternity.

Tell me, have you kept your wedding vows? Do you remember them? Perhaps you wrote your own and had them all memorized…can you still repeat them? It would be a good exercise to keep a written copy somewhere special—maybe in your family Bible—and repeat them every year on your anniversary. My husband and I used the aged formula that we had heard so oft repeated from our earliest childhood memories of weddings… “and forsaking all others, keep thee only unto him/her so long as ye both shall live…to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death us do part.”

Our first, ever continuing obligation is to forsake all others. It is also God’s first commandment: “Thou shalt have no other gods before me” (Exodus 20:3). Just as every wife wants her husband to have eyes for only her (and visa-versa), so God wants us to only have eyes for Him! Do you ever allow your eyes to stray when a pretty woman or a handsome man walks by? You will break your beloved’s heart and trust.

In our country, we aren’t typically tempted to worship literal, handmade image-idols from other nations. You don’t hear of many people converting to Buddhism or Shintoism. Do you know why? Because the god that appeals to Americans is the “almighty” dollar. Money and leisure have become national gods, and Americans who don’t worship Jesus typically chase materialistic pleasures. So, don’t be tempted to relax and say, “Well, at least I’ve forsaken all other gods! I don’t have eyes for anyone but God.” The real test is not, “Do you keep figurines on an idol shelf?” but, “Do you find yourself tempted to make decisions based on material gain or selfish pleasure rather than on your perception of its being God’s will…being right and for His pleasure?”

“To have and to hold.” Yes, Jesus, above all else, I am yours to have and to hold. Isn’t it strange that during the easy times of life many hearts are tempted to wander, but during the hard times, we are more likely to seek the comfort and support of a companion? Why is that? “For better or worse.” When things are “better,” it should be simple to remain faithful, but how easily people grow careless with each other and become intent on pursuing idle pleasures that distract rather than bind them together. When things are “better,” how easily people forget God and go their own way!

How much like sheep, who wander off on the sunny days until they have stumbled and fallen…and then bleat pitifully in their helpless pain and fear as the night falls! When it’s “for better,” humans tend to grow selfish and not want to be “bothered.” When it’s “for worse…” well, if it’s our problem, we want help and compassion…now!! But, if it’s our spouse’s problem…do we rush to his aid…and then endure patiently as needed? Our ability not only to “endure” but to take joy in being able to show love for our spouse through sacrifice is a rare and noble quality indeed.

“‘Joy is a duty’—so with golden lore
The Hebrew rabbis taught in days of yore.
And happy human hearts heard in their speech
Almost the highest wisdom man can reach.
But one bright peak still rises far above,
And there the Master stands whose name is Love,
Saying to those whom weary tasks employ:
‘Life is divine when Duty is a joy.’”
—Henry van Dyke

What a comfort it is as we grow older “to have and to hold” a life mate. I often used to tell my children that getting married is like putting money in a bank. Our oldest, shrewd financial steward that he is, tucked away $20,000 from his first year’s salary for his retirement, knowing that if all continues for the next fifty years as it has for the past fifty (which it probably won’t), that small (but significant) investment will grow into an ample retirement pension. Now, a twenty-five year old young man could think of many ways to spend 20K, but he will be very happy for his sacrifice in years to come.

Likewise, young adults may find it very difficult…even painfully sacrificial… to pour their time, energy, and money into developing a strong marriage and rearing a family. How much easier it would be to just “do their own thing.” But, all the sacrifices we make in our youth pay tremendous spiritual, emotional, and even physical benefits as we age.

Although it was simply by faith that my husband and I invested in a large family (based on believing Psalm 127:3, “Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward”), there is nothing on this earth that brings us more genuine pleasure now than our family. If you asked my husband, “Was it hard?”, I’m sure he would say, “Harder than I could have ever imagined when I asked Kathi to marry me!” When I asked him if it was worth it, he said, “Next to getting saved, it’s been the greatest joy of my life.” To which I would add a hearty “Amen!”

“For my beloved.” Yes, keep all you have and are for your beloved, “to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death” parts you! And for our beloved, let us keep all we are and have for him until death brings us to his arms forever!

Rise Up, My Love (242): The Best Wine

Song of Solomon 7:9 “And the roof of thy mouth like the best wine for my beloved, that goeth down sweetly, causing the lips of those that are asleep to speak.” Some verses appear difficult at a distance but easily yield their meaning when studied. Other verses appear simple with a cursory reading but actually become very difficult to understand when scrutinized carefully. This verse has been extremely difficult to “cut open.” At first reading, my tendency was to paraphrase it something like this: “I love french-kissing you! It’s better than the best wine, which flows down so smoothly that it even wakes up those who are sleeping.”

But, is that what the verse is really saying, and even if it is…what spiritual truth is the Lord conveying? One thing that complicates trying to understand the verse’s meaning is the little phrase “my beloved.” Does “my beloved” refer to the husband, or his wife? The husband has obviously been talking. “And the roof of thy mouth” is a continuation of the husband’s description of his wife; i.e.: the roof of her mouth. The suffix on the Hebrew noun translated “your mouth” is feminine, so it is definitely the wife being described up to that point.

But if the husband actually says that the roof of her mouth is like the best wine “for my beloved,” a proper continuation of the thought would demand that “my beloved” is the wife, so the husband is not saying that the wine slides smoothly down his throat, but hers. In other words, he would not be saying that he responds to french-kissing his wife as if he were drinking the best wine, but rather that her taste is like wine for herself. What’s the problem with that?

Well, first, most people assume that the intended imagery is that the wife’s sweet kisses are as pleasurable to the husband as drinking the best wine. But, if the wine is going down her throat, not his, then he is describing her pleasure, not his, which has not happened heretofore in the book. The second problem is simply one of usage. The term “beloved” is used 103 times in Scripture, and twenty-six of those usages (fully one-fourth of all instances) are in the Song of Solomon. In every other instance, “beloved” clearly refers to the husband. The term “my beloved” is similar. It is used forty-two times in Scripture, and over half (twenty-two) of the instances are in Song of Solomon…always speaking of the husband unless 7:9 is an exception.

“My beloved” is used elsewhere nine times to refer to Christ, nine times by Paul and James to refer to Christian brethren or sons in the faith, once in reference to God, and once—only once in all those occasions…but still, once—of Israel, in the feminine form, as the adulterous wife of God (Jeremiah 11:15). Commentators don’t just split the ballot over this issue, they splinter it! Because the most ancient Hebrew had no punctuation marks (those written in present day texts were added centuries later), it isn’t possible to reason that verses eight and nine all had to be spoken by the same person “because it’s all one sentence.” This is true in the King James Version’s English translation,  but the original text doesn’t have any demarcations.

No one doubts but that the wife picks up the conversation in verse 10. Although some commentators ascribe verses eight and nine to the husband in their entirety, many modern translations, including the New King James and the NIV, now punctuate the text with “And the roof of thy mouth like the best wine,” as the husband’s concluding comment, and have the wife begin her speech with, “For my beloved, that goeth down sweetly, causing the lips of those that are asleep to speak.”

After prayerfully wrestling with the text for three weeks, I now believe that verse nine should indeed be split. Hikek is the Hebrew word here translated “roof of thy mouth.” Some translations render it as “kisses,” but this is somewhat interpretive, since the word is common and used elsewhere with the more straightforward meaning of palate (as in this verse), mouth (5:16), or taste (2:3) . “…like the best wine…” The value and symbolic significance of wine in the Bible have already been discussed at length. Wine is symbolic of joy and abundant living. In chapter one, verse four, the bride declares, “We will remember thy love more than wine.” Here the husband returns the compliment and makes it superlative by saying that his wife’s kisses are “like the best wine.” Loving her produces a joy in him that is the very best of the best! “…for my beloved.”

Given that in every other instance in the entire book “my beloved” is a name used as a term of endearment by the wife for her husband, the evidence overwhelmingly supports the idea that at this juncture the husband’s praises end, and the wife begins her response. In that light, it is easy to understand the husband’s final comment as a beautiful capstone on his delicate adulation of this most wondrously intimate experience of marriage. The couple had just enjoyed sexual union, and lying in each other’s arms during the quiet glow that followed— breathing in her very breath and drinking in her kisses—he summed up his delight in her as if he’d just partaken of the world’s most highly prized and delectable beverage.

Use a more general definition of hikek and you have: “Your taste is like the best wine!” Oh, beloved of God, meditate on the marvel that Christ has no greater joy than our yielded union with him. It is to us that he declares, “Your taste is like the best wine!”

Rise Up, My Love (240): Perfect Breath and Perfect Foods

Song of Solomon 7:8 “…and the smell of thy nose like apples.” As the husband draws into union with his wife, he becomes so intimately entwined with her that he can smell her face and finds he is breathing the very air she breathes. No bad breath here! I wonder if the bride just brushed her teeth…and if so, what type of toothpaste she used, because the word for “smell” is the Hebrew riah, which is used earlier in the book to describe the fragrance of perfumes and garden spices.

How does one get breath so fresh and appealing? I don’t suppose three thousand years ago they had toothpaste and mouth wash (although they may have had their own versions that have not as yet been discovered). Perhaps her breath was the natural result of proper hygiene and good nutrition. Whatever…I would love to have breath as fragrant as apples, wouldn’t you?

Although I may not know the secret to delectable breath, I believe our heavenly bridegroom is trying to teach us a secret about spiritual attractiveness in this passage, because—as compelling as the imagery of sexual union is—the insight into spiritual oneness is even more overwhelming.

Let’s consider these two aspects of union: breasts as clusters of grapes, and breath like apples. First, the king describes her breasts as clusters of grapes. The breasts only develop in a woman as she matures, and the anatomic function of the breasts is to provide nourishment for the offspring of her union with her husband. Spiritually, the breasts…those clusters of the vine…the “fruit of the Spirit”… also develop as we mature by “abiding in the Vine” (see John 15:1-5).

We have already considered the fruit of the Spirit, but let’s read the passage thoughtfully again: “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance” (Galatians 5:22-23). Notice that there are nine qualities mentioned, but one “fruit.” Does that ring a bell? It makes me think of the breast…just one breast, but multiple lobes within that breast producing milk. “The fruit of the spirit is…” Singular. The breasts take lactose, protein, minerals such as calcium, phosphorus, and riboflavin, vitamins (particularly A, B1 and B12), water, and milk fat to produce one glorious, perfectly balanced product: milk, which is considered nature’s most perfect food because it contains almost all the nutrients essential for human growth.  The Spirit likewise develops in us the essential qualities of love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, goodness, faith, humility, and self-control to produce one glorious character: Christ’s, which will equip us for nurturing the spiritual offspring that result from our joyful union with Him. Oh, Lord, please develop in us a passion for you that results in spiritual maturity, fullness, and truly Christ-like character!

Rise Up, My Love (239): Quadruple A Formula (of Maybe Quintuple B-A Formula)

Song of Solomon 7:8  As the wife of a physician who works at a psychiatric hospital, I have heard many tragic stories of marital infidelity. Once I (accidentally) caught a glimpse of a woman who had been promiscuous and attracted multiple lovers (and was emotionally devastated as a result). I used to assume that all such women would be extremely beautiful, so I was shocked when Alan said that more often than not the women are very average looking!  “What is it about these women that attract men?” I asked my husband. From his evaluation, he has surmised that it is a woman’s capacity to convey love and compassionate support that most attracts mature men.  From that I developed my own Quadruple A Formula for helping keep husbands from falling prey to “strange women:” Be attractive; admire; appreciate; and be available to give and receive affection. (I know I shared this earlier, but I believe it’s critically important and worth repeating.)  In fact, I’ll add another “Be A” term: Be active. Pro-active! Don’t criticize what he does wrong all the time; admire what he does right. Don’t be a chronic complainer, brooding on the difficult aspects of life; think of positive things to tell him when he comes home…especially about himself…things that will encourage him and let him know how much you appreciate him. (Remember, he’s been getting battered by the world all day.) And, don’t rebuff him when he wants sexual intimacy. He craves sex like a woman craves affection. Give him what he needs; don’t push him away. Forget about yourself as much as you can and just concentrate on loving him! Learn to be unselfish. (I’m preaching to the choir here!)   Do you suppose a palm tree would push away the man who was climbing up its long trunk reaching for the fruit? No, palms are by nature flexible and giving. They sway in the wind and often have a gentle curve that makes climbing easier. Their fruits yield to the touch and fall to the ground when fully ripe. (Note: green fruits don’t yield to the touch, and neither should a young, unmarried woman!) Can’t you just imagine the palm fronds lashing out at the man, whipping his head and hands, trying to keep him from enjoying the fruits? I’m afraid all married women have probably been guilty of not being very good palm trees at some point in our lives! (If I asked for a show of hands, my hand would be the first up, so I confess my guilt.)  Welcome your precious husband to your body. Let him feel the strength of your love. Let a tidal wave of your passion wash over his soul. Men need that sense of “filling up” that comes from long and satisfying times of physical intimacy every bit as much as women crave emotional connection and intimacy. I have read that there is nothing that makes a man feel more like a man than the sweet surrender of his wife. And, we wives need it just as much…even if we don’t realize it! Is it time to rediscover how refreshing it is to relax completely and forget everything but loving our mate for a while? I’ve also discovered that when I start thinking of myself as a fruitful palm tree, I even start feeling better and more relaxed about how I look. What’s so special about a palm tree, anyway, since there are billions of them on the planet? It’s not how it looks, it’s the life-giving sustenance it provides. Can we be there for our husbands?

Rise Up, My Love (241): How to Have Fresh Breath

Song of Solomon 7:8 Second, the king refers to the smell of her nose as being like apples, or, if my understanding is correct, he likens the smell of the breath coming from her nose to the subtle spiciness of apples. That was a curiosity to me, since I have always felt self-conscious about my breath…and frankly have never noticed especially liking the smell of anyone else’s breath either (unless they were chewing flavored gum or breath mints).

I guess in some cultures, body odors are very attractive, but most Americans are taught to minimize their natural human scents and often go to great pains to mask them with toothpaste, mouth wash, fragranced soaps, deodorant, flavored chap sticks and lipsticks, hand creams, face creams, perfumes…and even make ups and powders. I mean, we even scent facial tissues and toilet paper. Among all this armament of aromatic accouterments, I have yet to smell the sweetness of apples…have you?

“How would someone’s breath smell like apples?” I asked my husband, who as a physician daily experiences dozens of people’s breath. (…“Say ‘Ah!’ please.”)

“The only way I know of would be if the person had just finished eating an apple.” That made perfect sense to me, so I researched the word “apple” in the Scripture to see if I could discover its spiritual significance. First, the word “apple” or “apples” is only used eleven times in the Scripture, four of which are in the Song of Solomon! Of the seven uses outside the Song, five are the expression “apple of the eye,” such as in Psalm 17:8, “Keep me as the apple of the eye, hide me under the shadow of thy wings.”

So, nearly half of the uses of apple in Scripture refer to the center of the eye, or that which is central to one’s heart, affections, and attentions. Of the two remaining uses of apple, believe it or not, do not include the fruit that Eve picked in the Garden of Eden! That fruit is not mentioned by name and has probably long since disappeared, or at least it hasn’t been an option for snacking in the last 6,000 years!

However, Proverbs 25:11 teaches that “a word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver,” and so perhaps given the context, apples could be associated with wisdom and discretion. Finally, the apple tree is mentioned with a list of the most important fruit trees that were withered during a time of judgment “because joy is withered away from the sons of men” (Joel 1:12). So, the apple is associated with wisdom, abundance and joy.

Within the Song of Solomon, the three other references to “apple” are 2:3, where the groom is likened to an apple tree: “As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.” Here we see the apple as the greatest of its type, providing delightful protection and sweet sustenance. Shortly thereafter (v. 5), the bride cries out, “Stay me with flagons, comfort me with apples: for I am sick of love.” Here, the apple seems associated with that which stabilizes and comforts. The final reference is 8:5, where the bridegroom says, “I raised thee up under the apple tree: there thy mother brought thee forth…”

Obviously, this is all symbolic, since the bride certainly had not lived her entire life from birth through the early years of marriage under the shade of a singular apple tree. What did this apple tree symbolize? A composite of all the other occurrences used in Scripture depict the apple as symbolic of that which was central to one’s heart, attention, and affection, full of wisdom and discretion, joy and abundance…that which was the greatest of its type, providing delightful protection and sweet sustenance, stabilization, and comfort.

Could that be anything but a picture of Christ himself? He was the apple tree under which she was brought forth by her mother, and where she was raised up. Why did her breath smell like apples? Because she had just “eaten an apple.” Spiritually, she was feeding off the One who proclaimed, “I am the living bread which came down from heaven: if any man eat of this bread, he shall live for ever…For my flesh is meat indeed, and my blood is drink indeed” (John 6: 51,55).

In a spiritual mystery that has baffled and revolted unbelievers ever since Christ propounded this doctrine, we are taught to so take in Christ spiritually that he becomes bone of our bone and flesh of our flesh, even as we become bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh. Why did the bride have fragrant breath? Because she had the breath of Eternal Life! She had eaten the apple of Christ. She had been abiding in the Vine until her spiritual breasts had become like voluptuous clusters of grapes. She had been feeding on the Living Bread until the “smell of her nose”—the smell of her face and the very air coming out from her inmost being—had a subtle spiciness…the unmistakable fragrance of Christ…the invisible aroma of his eternally fresh and vibrant Holy Spirit being exhaled from her life. Oh, beloved, if you don’t get anything else out of this devotional commentary, understand the secret of spiritual fresh breath: Feed on the living Christ!

Rise Up, My Love (238): Cake and Frosting

Song of Solomon 7:8 “I said, I will go up to the palm tree, I will take hold of the boughs thereof…” The word for “boughs” is sansinna and is only used this once in the Bible, although it has been linked to the Akkadian sinnsinu, which refers to the “topmost branches of a palm.”*  So, the term “boughs” may refer to the bride’s hair or arms, but perhaps the best interpretation comes from Patterson who said the term “refers to the shoots or branches of the palm tree on which hang the clusters of its fruit…which will please him like clusters of the vine” (Patterson, 108). The Hebrew for “take hold” is ahaz and is variably translated “seize” or “grasp” such as in Judges 1:6 and 12:6 where it refers to the hot pursuit of battle!  Is it time for a friendly, “I told you so!”? Solomon was rather like that shipwrecked sailor, wasn’t he?…run aground by a hurricane of love…overwhelmed by emotion…and ready to climb that tree in hot pursuit of that fruit! (A note to men: Need I remind you that the breast has already been described as a fawn? That “hot pursuit” requires the utmost care in preparing your wife [as Solomon did his wife] for your impassioned advances!)  In this verse, Solomon goes from admiring his wife to expressing his intention to make love to her. The beauty of the passage is the purity and unabashed goodness…the rightness…of a man observing his wife’s beauties and declaring his desire to “ascend” to dizzying heights in order to delight in her as if she were a magnificent palm crowned with delicious clusters of the most delectable fruit!  Oh, dear brides who cannot understand why your husband is so driven sexually all the time, see yourself as he sees you! Understand that a young man craves his wife’s body like a shipwrecked sailor craves the bursting sweetness of coconut milk! Older women who wonder why your husbands haven’t ever “gotten over it,” meditate on the fact that when your husband sees you, he’s not focusing on the extra weight that makes you so self-conscious and reticent…he’s a thirsty man looking for a long, refreshing drink from the fountain of his youth—you “Ah,” but you say, “How could he still be interested in me? I’m so….(you can fill in your own blank). For me—and probably for the majority of older women— “overweight” would fit nicely in that blank. That twenty-four inch waistline came and went all too fast. I used to worry chronically about being overweight to the point of being uncomfortable undressed. I wondered how my husband could really even find me attractive. Now I know that the most important thing for us as wives is to forget how we look and focus on loving our husbands instead!  That’s not to say that looks aren’t important. It’s good for our health and our marriages to keep fit as much as possible, so I am not condoning a lack of dietary discipline. But, what a man needs most of all is a good woman who loves him deeply. That is the cake. The rest is just frosting. (I know, frosting is my favorite part too…so let’s keep working on looking our best…but let’s not forget the cake!)

*G. Lloyd Carr, The Song of Solomon: An Introduction and Commentary (Downer’s Grove, IL: Intervarsity Press, 1984), 162.