Category Archives: Cartoons and jokes

On the Lighter, Brighter Side

facebook-closedIn case you haven’t heard yet, I was asked to share this. keep-goingHowever, even if you can’t access Facebook, you can still do this…advice-for-shopping-in-a-mallAnd, this is definitely great advice!  🙂 doctors-strikeHere’s one for all the doctors in your life! I love this!  🙂
(Do you know any who take time to picket? I do not!)kindnessIsn’t this the truth?! galatians-2-20May this one be true for each of us!

Groundhog Day Giddies

ground-hog-dayIn honor of Groundhog Day and the prospects of 6 more weeks of winter, getting-to-know-youI thought a few good jokes might brighten our scans! marajuanaEvery once in a while I get cartoons passed along that make me laugh, the-children-of-israel-with-cell-phonesand I just need to share them!  birds-need-potty-breaks-tooToday is one of those days. o-c-d Hope you enjoy!  biscuits-and-gravyHere’s lookin’ at you, Rick,tire-pressure-tool and here’s one for your sweet wife, Cheryl (or me). bearsHere’s one for my dear friend Sarah up in Alaska, whose husband actually saved a man’s life by shooting the bear who attacked him.  smart-car-and-a-smart-aleckAnd here’s one for my son Michael and all lovers of especially small cars.
(Some of these jokes are only funny if you don’t think about them too hard.) trying-to-pound-sense-into-someoneSome jokes are funny but make a serious point & could be used against any of us. greatest-accomplishmentAnd, some cartoons are pretty much right on for all of us! 🙂

“Even a fool, when he holds his peace, is counted wise:
and he that shuts his lips is esteemed a man of understanding”

(Proverbs 17:28).

Learning to Convey Respect

Frog Parking.I initially wrote today’s post using some images Dis Humorshared by friends on Facebook that reminded me of  “life in these United States,”Definition of Musician from WOLF fmTeachers DM 2but what my age-mates and I thought of as humorous commentary on life was not considered appropriate by the younger generation, so I’m trying again.

Mother and SonI’ve just started working my way through a book called Mother and Son; The Respect Effect, by Emerson Eggerichs, on “What every mom needs to recognize in her son,” and it dawned on me that I need this book much more than the author needs me to publicize it, because I clearly do not understand how to convey the respect I feel to my grown children! When I’ve finished the book, I’ll tell you what I learned (and they gave me an extra copy to share if you’re in the market), but meanwhile, if you have children, I’d like you to join me in pondering this question: Am I giving my children the respect they deserve? RespectIf you and your kids are at a stage where you’re constantly disagreeing, then you may not even feel a lot of respect for them at the moment, but I believe God wants us to treat everyone with respect, following the example of Christ. I used to think that respect had to be earned, but Christ didn’t disparage anyone, not even the woman caught in adultery or the thief on the cross. He expressed anger and confronted evil, but he still treated people with dignity, and he himself always retained his own dignity, even when he was dying on the cross.  Love Quote by PigletOn the other hand, if you admire your kids as much as I admire mine, and you get along well with them, then it’s probably not so much whether or not you feel respect for them, but whether or not you’re able to convey that respect in a meaningful way to them. That’s where I’m at, and that’s what I’m trying to learn. Sometimes it’s not just what’s in the heart that counts, it’s learning to speak the language of the person you love, and for men, I hear that language is spelled R.E.S.P.E.C.T. (which is not as natural to a woman as L.O.V.E.).  Ann LandersDo you find yourself concerned about your relationships with your kids? Join the club. But, just remember this, our adult offspring deserve not only our love, but our sincerest respect, and if we love them, we need to learn how to convey that respect to them in ways they understand.

“Behold, God is mighty, and despiseth not any:
he is mighty in strength and wisdom” (Job 36:5).

(The signs and photos are from internet forwards. If any of them belong to you, please let me know so I can credit you or remove them. Thanks.)

Quotable Quips for a Rainy—or Sunny—Day

Alligator v.s. CrocodileI love jokes and quips. Do you? Here are a few I’ve been saving up for just such an occasion as today. Hope you enjoy them, and if you’ve already heard them, I hope they still make you smile!

“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” ~Lily Tomlin

“Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?” ~Phyllis Diller

“If you love something, set it free. Unless it’s chocolate. Never release chocolate.” ~Renee Duvall

“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?” ~Milton Berle

“Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.” ~Paula Poundstone

“I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, ‘Where’s the self-help section?’ She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.” ~George Carlin

“He who falls in love with himself will have no rivals.”~Ben Franklin

“The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.”~Erma Bombeck

“The best time to give advice to your children is while they’re still young enough to believe you know what you’re talking about.” ~Evan Esar

“Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.” ~Doug Larson

“Laughter is an instant vacation.” ~Milton Berle (and I hope you’re enjoying some vacation during this beautiful summer!)

Then was our mouth filled with laughter, and our tongue with singing: then said they among the heathen, The Lord hath done great things for them. The Lord hath done great things for us; whereof we are glad” (Psalm 26:2-3).

 

Fun for the Fourth of July!

Hot dog on iceYou know it’s hot when you see photos like these! Plastic cup melter on railing Just for the record, none of these pictures are mine. Cookies baking on car dashI am shamelessly passing them along to you from an internet forward,-2but I think they’re funny and apropos for July heat, so I wanted to share them.Pigeons in shade Anyway, hope you have a wonderful Fourth of July,
warm with the love of family and friends but not too hot, -4and full of all the abundance which God does intend for us. Plastic hanger melted in car heatIf you are suffering today, -10may God bless you with relief, peace, courage, and hope.  -5Much love to you from Michigan, Melted Highway conewhere it’s not nearly so hot as it is in these pictures! 🙂

-3A man shall be as an hiding place from the wind, and a covert from the tempest; as rivers of water in a dry place, as the shadow of a great rock in a weary land” (Isaiah 32:2; This passage is speaking of the Messiah, whom I believe is Jesus Christ.)

(If any of these pictures belong to you, please let me know so I can credit you and/or remove them from this post, depending on your wishes. Thanks!)

Ground Hog Day: Have We Been Tricked?

It’s a drab study in shades of brown and white outside my window today. Punxsutawney Phil didn’t see his shadow this morning, and the forecast is for an early spring. I sure hope so, although PP isn’t always right. What in the world?I also saw the above amazing bit of ingenuity on FB yesterday (February 1). My first response was belief: “That’s cool!” But, then I said to myself, “Wait a minute…this is a leap year, so there must be 5 Mondays this year”…In fact, except for leap years there are always exactly 4 of each of the days of the week in February, because it’s the only month with exactly 28 days. And, what’s with the 823 years? The perfect rhythm of 4 opportunities to live for each of the 7 weekdays in February occurs 4 out of every 5 years, or about 659 out of the next 823 years. It made me laugh at myself to realize how gullible I am…that my first response is to believe what I read or hear. It also made me feel a bit tricked and offended. What motivates people to promulgate lies? I’m sure some do it unintentionally, because they’ve been taken it too. (Sadly, I’ve been guilty of that.) Perhaps some do it as a joke, just to see if they can fool others. Worst of all, some people intentionally twist ideas to promote a perverse agenda…such as coining the term “homophobia” (by a psychotherapist named George Weinberg back in the 70’s) to shift the sense of psychological malady from the homosexual to the heterosexual population. As believers, let’s be more careful in discerning truth from lies: “The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit” (1 Corinthians 2:14, NIV).

Also, despite the erroneous line of argument in the cartoon above, the first statement is true: “February 2016 cannot come in your lifetime again.” In fact, “February 2016” will never come again, not in our life time or in anybody’s life time as long as we use our world’s present system for accounting time. Each second—each month and year—only comes and passes once, so let’s make it a great month, whether or not spring comes early!

“Whoso keepeth the commandment shall feel no evil thing:
and a wise man’s heart discerneth both time and judgment” (Ecclesiastes 8:5).

Crazy Christmas Questions

Snoopy Hanging Christmas StockingsJust in case you need a few more riddles to make your season bright:
(I’ve dedicated a few to various loved ones for fun…hope you don’t mind…)

How many presents can Santa fit in his sack when it’s empty?
Only one; after that it’s not empty anymore. (What do you think, Ru?)

Did Rudolph go to school?
No. He was Elf-taught. (God bless all homeschooling moms this season!)

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite! (Olivia M….)

How do snowmen get around?
They ride an icicle.

What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree?

Nice gnawing you!

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?

Santa Jaws.

Oh, ya? Well then, who gives presents to puppies?
Santa Paws, of course! 🙂

What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk?

Jingle Smells. (Dedicated to the memory of our beloved Abishai, who could never resist chasing skunks, and for all of you who love and own dogs.)

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy. (This one’s for Annika. Congrats on your new bakery!)

What carol is heard in the desert?

O camel ye faithful! (Dedicated to my son Stephen and all musicologists.)

What do you sing to a snowman who’s depressed because he’s melting?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.

Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor?

Because he had a low “elf” esteem. (These 2 are for all my psychiatrist friends~)

What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer. (I’ll try this one of my son Aaron!)

What’s green, covered in tinsel and goes ribbet ribbet?

Mistle-toad. (For all grand kids who love toads [which includes all mine!])

What did the stamp say to the Christmas card?
Stick with me and we’ll go places! (This one’s for my husband.)   🙂

Why don’t you ever see Father Christmas in hospital?
Because he has private elf care. (Dedicated to all dedicated physicians.)

Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?
Because they were two deer! (For all fellow lovers of second-hand stores.)

What is the best Christmas present in the world?

A broken drum, you just can’t beat it! (For my drummer boys, Dan and Joel.)

How is a Christmas tree like a clumsy knitter?
They both drop needles. (Did you almost guess this one? I did! Dedicated to all knitters, especially Sarah J. and my son Michael, who are the best knitters I know!)

How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus was 7lb 6oz when he was born?
They had a weigh in a manger. (Now here’s one I couldn’t guess, dedicated to Kari, the best Ob/Gyn I know!)

“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” (Proverbs 17:22, NIV)