Here is a clever list of thoughts to make you laugh, sent to me from my daughter-in-law, Gerlinde, from the files of her father, who was a missionary and pastor for about 60 years of his blessed life. Christoph has always had a marvelous sense of humor . . . which I think is an integral part of living a buoyant life while sailing this world’s heavy seas!
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
A day without sunshine is like, well, . . . night.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
The 50-50-90 rule: anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone from California would be stupid enough to try to pass them.
If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer. (Remember, this pastor is from Germany. 🙂 )
Flashlight: a case for holding dead batteries.
God gave you toes as a device for finding furniture in the dark.
“A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.“ Proverbs 17:22
Sarah is my daughter-in-law Gerlinde’s mother. They were missionaries in Tanzania for many years but are now home in Germany. Somehow I think of her as a “sister-in-law,” which isn’t a correct way of saying it in English, although there ought to be some word to describe the kinship that develops between those of us who share children and grandchildren in common! She is certainly a sister-in-Christ, so maybe I’ll stick with that.
By any definition, she has a great sense of humor and often shares posts that make me laugh. I noticed that many of them come from “Casual Christian Humor 2,” who have their own FaceBook page. So . . . I checked them out! If you find these funny, you may enjoy checking them out every once in a while!
This one in honor of my son who’s a musician!Especially for my editor son!
This one for all you who are in the military, especially Michael . . .
For my grandkids who are having to give up their hens before moving back to America
For all my vegan friends (and relatives) . . . just kidding! 🙂This one for all my age mates, including Alan and me!! 😦Oh, ya!!! Isn’t this the truth?!Thank you, Sarah! I especially love this one. SO true!
“But as touching brotherly love ye need not that I write unto you: for ye yourselves are taught of God to love one another” (1 Thessalonians 4:9).
Alan and I got our second vaccination today, so theoretically we should be good to have our kids celebrate Easter with us in early April. We only had minor soreness with our first round, although I’ve heard reactions to the second vacinnation can sometimes be fairly serious . . . so be forewarned (as we have been). Lord willing, it might be just two more weeks of waiting before we can return to a somewhat cautiously normal life!
By the way, at least in Michigan, if you are between 18-64, you can register to get in line for an appointment to get your vaccination. I’m not sure what the rules are in other states (and elsewhere around the world), but it would definitely be worth your while to check into it, since in Michigan it’s very much a first-come, first-served situation.
Nearly half the population between the ages of 18-64 don’t think they want or need to be immunized, so there’s no need to be polite and wait for your elders!
If you’re interested, go for it!
Meanwhile, here on the home front as we wait our turns . . .
Just kidding! Why wait? Someday you’ll be able to tell your kids about your strange wedding due to COVID restrictions . . . whatever those were . . .
Meanwhile, friends have sent me a lot more jokes to share. You may have seen all or most of them already, but for awhile there were so many tragic reports I didn’t want to dishonor those who were suffering with light-hearted humor. Hasn’t it been a relief to hear that the numbers seem to be decreasing?!
This is a personal favorite, because I have so much trouble getting the plastic bags open! One lady said she walks over and finds a drop of water from where they spray the veggies.
Here are a few encouragements for those of us who’ve gained weight during COVID~
Shared by courtesy of my friend—Esther Lang
“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6).
So many jokes! I hope you don’t mind if I share a few.
It hasn’t just been humans who’ve struggled with a lack of exercise!
Who says dogs can’t pray?
Don’t you wonder what this little fellow (and his dog?) are hoping for?
Here is a prayer for all of us during this season of Covid sorrows and frustrations: “Answer me when I call, O God of my righteousness! You have given me relief when I was in distress. Be gracious to me and hear my prayer!” (Psalm 4:2).
Okay, so one last blog with jokes celebrating senior citizens before plunging into my seventies, and then hopefully I’ll settle down and be a bit more dignified about my seniority.
In the book I just read on Being Old For Dummies, I learned about becoming a seenager. Did you know they exist? If you’re trying to spot one, this is what they look like:
*They have everything they always wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. *They don’t have to go to school or work. *They get an allowance every month. *They own their own place. *They don’t have a curfew. *They don’t have acne. *They can stay out as late as they want and sleep in as long as they want. *They don’t have parents to tell them what to do. *They can have hot chocolate for breakfast and popcorn for dinner if they want. *They have a “get out of jail free” card called “forgetfulness.” *They think life is great.
Do you know any? Here are a few more telltale signs:
Did you know that we even have our own texting shortcuts?
And then, there are those senior moments when we’re shopping:
Of course, these are all just jokes hoping to make you laugh, and I wouldn’t give away my Alan for a barrel of adorable puppies (or anything else)! Cheer up, ya’ll! There’s a very bright light at the end of this tunnel! As C.S. Lewis said, after we close the last chapter in the book of our lives, we’ll discover that it was just the front cover of eternity:
“And as He spoke, He no longer looked to them like a lion; but the things that began to happen after that were so great and beautiful that I cannot write them. And for us this the end of all the stories, and we can most truly say that they all lived happily ever after. But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on for ever: in which every chapter is better than the one before” (C.S. Lewis, The Last Battle).
Revelation 21-22: “Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. 2 And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. 3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. 4 He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”
5 And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” 6 And he said to me, “It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the spring of the water of life without payment. 7 The one who conquers will have this heritage, and I will be his God and he will be my son. 8 But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.”
The New Jerusalem
9 Then came one of the seven angels who had the seven bowls full of the seven last plagues and spoke to me, saying, “Come, I will show you the Bride, the wife of the Lamb.” 10 And he carried me away in the Spirit to a great, high mountain, and showed me the holy city Jerusalem coming down out of heaven from God, 11 having the glory of God, its radiance like a most rare jewel, like a jasper, clear as crystal. 12 It had a great, high wall, with twelve gates, and at the gates twelve angels, and on the gates the names of the twelve tribes of the sons of Israel were inscribed— 13 on the east three gates, on the north three gates, on the south three gates, and on the west three gates. 14 And the wall of the city had twelve foundations, and on them were the twelve names of the twelve apostles of the Lamb.
15 And the one who spoke with me had a measuring rod of gold to measure the city and its gates and walls. 16 The city lies foursquare, its length the same as its width. And he measured the city with his rod, 12,000 stadia. Its length and width and height are equal. 17 He also measured its wall, 144 cubits by human measurement, which is also an angel’s measurement. 18 The wall was built of jasper, while the city was pure gold, like clear glass. 19 The foundations of the wall of the city were adorned with every kind of jewel. The first was jasper, the second sapphire, the third agate, the fourth emerald, 20 the fifth onyx, the sixth carnelian, the seventh chrysolite, the eighth beryl, the ninth topaz, the tenth chrysoprase, the eleventh jacinth, the twelfth amethyst. 21 And the twelve gates were twelve pearls, each of the gates made of a single pearl, and the street of the city was pure gold, like transparent glass.
22 And I saw no temple in the city, for its temple is the Lord God the Almighty and the Lamb. 23 And the city has no need of sun or moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and its lamp is the Lamb. 24 By its light will the nations walk, and the kings of the earth will bring their glory into it, 25 and its gates will never be shut by day—and there will be no night there. 26 They will bring into it the glory and the honor of the nations. 27 But nothing unclean will ever enter it, nor anyone who does what is detestable or false, but only those who are written in the Lamb’s book of life.
The River of Life
22 Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, bright as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb 2 through the middle of the street of the city; also, on either side of the river, the tree of life with its twelve kinds of fruit, yielding its fruit each month. The leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations. 3 No longer will there be anything accursed, but the throne of God and of the Lamb will be in it, and his servants will worship him. 4 They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. 5 And night will be no more. They will need no light of lamp or sun, for the Lord God will be their light, and they will reign forever and ever.
Jesus Is Coming
6 And he said to me, “These words are trustworthy and true. And the Lord, the God of the spirits of the prophets, has sent his angel to show his servants what must soon take place.” 7 “And behold, I am coming soon. Blessed is the one who keeps the words of the prophecy of this book.” 8 I, John, am the one who heard and saw these things. And when I heard and saw them, I fell down to worship at the feet of the angel who showed them to me, 9 but he said to me, “You must not do that! I am a fellow servant with you and your brothers the prophets, and with those who keep the words of this book. Worship God.” 10 And he said to me, “Do not seal up the words of the prophecy of this book, for the time is near. 11 Let the evildoer still do evil, and the filthy still be filthy, and the righteous still do right, and the holy still be holy.” 12 “Behold, I am coming soon, bringing my recompense with me, to repay each one for what he has done. 13 I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end.” 14 Blessed are those who wash their robes, so that they may have the right to the tree of life and that they may enter the city by the gates. 15 Outside are the dogs and sorcerers and the sexually immoral and murderers and idolaters, and everyone who loves and practices falsehood. 16 “I, Jesus, have sent my angel to testify to you about these things for the churches. I am the root and the descendant of David, the bright morning star.” 17 The Spirit and the Bride say, “Come.” And let the one who hears say, “Come.” And let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who desires take the water of life without price. 18 I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: if anyone adds to them, God will add to him the plagues described in this book, 19 and if anyone takes away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God will take away his share in the tree of life and in the holy city, which are described in this book. 20 He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon.” Amen. Come, Lord Jesus! 21 The grace of the Lord Jesus be with all. Amen.“
As Alan has turned seventy, and I’m anticipating such an unbelievable event myself just in a week or so, I wanted to share a few favored jokes between now and then to soften the fall! This one is unashamedly passed along to you verbatim from a friend via an email forward. If you’re in that painfully discounted group known as “Senior Citizens” (or you know any good jokes about my age group), I’d love to have you pass your jokes along to us, either as comments below or to my email! Thanks, and Happy Aging!
“Maxine has about covered it. Senior citizens are constantly being criticized for every conceivable deficiency of the modern world, real or imaginary. We know we take responsibility for all we have done and do not try to blame others. HOWEVER, upon reflection, we would like to point out that it was NOT senior citizens who took: The melody out of music, The pride out of appearance, The courtesy out of driving, The romance out of love, The commitment out of marriage, The responsibility out of parenthood, The togetherness out of the family, The learning out of education The nativity scene out of cities, The civility out of behavior, The refinement out of language, The dedication out of employment, The prudence out of spending, The ambition out of achievement or God out of government and school.
And we certainly are NOT the ones who eliminated patience and tolerance from personal relationships and interactions with others!
And, we DO understand the meaning of patriotism, and remember those who have fought and died for our country. YES, I’M A SENIOR CITIZEN!
I’m the life of the party…..Even if it only lasts until 8 p.m. I’m very good at opening childproof caps…..With a hammer. I’m smiling all the time because I can’t hear a thing you’re saying. I’m sure everything I can’t find is in a safe secure place, somewhere. I’m wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that’s just my left leg. I’m beginning to realize that aging is not for wimps. Yes, I’m a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having the time of my life! Now if I could only remember who sent this to me, I wouldn’t send it back to them. Or, maybe I should send it to all my friends anyway. They won’t remember, even if they did send it.
Spread the laughter Share the cheer Let’s be happy While we’re here.”
(Editorial Note: Humor aside, and to be perfectly honest, we senior citizens have to take our fair share of the blame for the demise of civility and morality in our country. We were the generation of the “flower children” who became despicably irresponsible as youth [not all of us, but enough to earn a very bad reputation as a generation]. It was our generation who first burned the flag and took over administration buildings on college campuses! The fact is, the golden oldies aren’t any better than the current generation—we just expressed our fears and frustrations in different ways. So, if we’ve learned anything from our past, let’s forgive and give, love, and live responsibly. Let’s model grace rather than grumpiness, and as we age out—let’s inspire those who are coming behind us!)
“If now I have found grace in Your sight, O Lord, let my Lord, I pray, go among us, even though we are a stiff-necked people; and pardon our iniquity and our sin, and take us as Your inheritance” (Exodus 34:9, NKJV).
By way of encouragement, my brother (spiritual brother, and the father of my daughter-in-law Gerlinde), sent me this lovely reminder of the wonderful goodness and grace of God, which I’m experiencing this morning while in the throes of preparing for tomorrow’s wedding. May you all have a day overflowing with the joy and blessings of the Lord!
How is the COVID pandemic in your part of the world? Here in Michigan, things are starting to heat up again.
Our church has been allowing some of our congregation to come back to the church to meet in person, although Alan and I ( being 70) are still opting to worship online.
I’m sure everyone—even those of us who haven’t had to deal with the trauma of losing loved ones—has suffered from their share of disappointment. I discovered recently that Alan and I will not be allowed to fly to Europe to help out with the expected birth of our newest grandchild. We are so disappointed. 😦
Without our usual flow of friends and relatives visiting, I will say—I’ve definitely struggled to keep my weight in place!
However, I haven’t been bored, have you? In fact, Alan and I find ourselves happily occupied with landscaping, cleaning, and organizing . . . trying to make up for the past 27 years of neglect, I think!
In all honesty, I have to say that July was safe, warm, and wonderful. A perfect month of “staycation” to begin our retirement, and for that I’m immensely grateful to the Lord!
And, being retirees, we don’t have to worry about any unusual ramifications from staying at home together. 🙂
My heart grieves over all the social and political unrest, however, and we are praying fervently for people the world over to respond to the Lord’s invitation: “There is no God else beside me; a just God and a Saviour; there is none beside me. Look unto me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the earth: for I am God, and there is none else” (Isaiah 45:21-22).
I’d like to think this one is correct, but I’m sure that— like all the other cartoons shared by friends recently— this is also just a joke.
Here’s something that’s not just a joke. Maybe we can spread smiling eyes even with our masks on.
And, I say “Amen!” to this!
May God guide and keep you on your journey. May we all live wisely and keep looking up!
The Moaning Lisa . . . and these were just her spring photo ops!
Are you ready for some fun? We’re in the midst of enjoying family visits after months of being locked down, so during the week days my blogs will be on light side for the next couple of weeks. I hope you can enjoy some comic relief with me!
Here is a forward on announcements made in church bulletins or from the pulpit:
The sermon this morning: “Jesus Walks on the Water.” The sermon tonight: “Searching for Jesus.“
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment, and gracious hostility.
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
The “Fasting & Prayer Conference” includes meals.
Scoutsare saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.
Miss Charlene Mason sang “I will not pass this way again,” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast nextSunday.
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver” (Proverbs 25:11).
Summer Setting 