Do you ever wonder if God exists? If He cares about you? An African-born anesthesiologist with a special interest in Intensive Care Unit (ICU) work, Dr David Walker, shares his story (and reads it in his own South African voice if you get an audio copy): “The journey started with the death of my brother and anger at a God I did not know or understand and from Whom I alienated myself, and ends with the death of my wife while pressing in close to a God I know, still do not understand, but have chosen to trust and love. In the first instance I found nothing but disquiet and dissatisfaction. In the latter I experienced a love and comfort that made the experience an exquisite anguish.”
The greatest beauty in this book is Dave’s transparency in his experiences as a physician and with God. He started out as a deist, asking himself, “What is my real purpose in life? Was I put on this earth just to save physical lives and make no permanent change to the quality of the whole person? So began my search for a God who is involved . . . someone who touches hearts and changes lives from the inside.”
His memoir covers more than 22 years of practice in South Africa and 6 years in the Middle East. He tells fascinating stories about medicine and his patients as well as his own development as a believer struggling to understand the purpose and power of prayer. He recounts being present at the Groote Schuur Hospital in Cape Town on December 3, 1967, when Chris Barnard performed the first successful heart transplant. He describes the incredible beauty of an oasis while being driven to attend a powerful sheikh when he was Head of the Anaesthetic Department at Tawam Hospital, UAE. Without being told, it’s obvious that Dr. Walker is a highly capable and responsible physician.
Yet, he is wonderfully humble and open about his spiritual pilgrimage. He records his timid growth from wishing to pray for his patients, to asking to pray . . . to becoming bold in praying, especially when he saw his patients’ anguish and needs completely overwhelming his personal power to heal them.
Dr. Walker relates stories of miraculous recoveries as well as heartbreaking deaths. He recounts poisonings, cancer journeys, accidents, and medically hard-to-diagnose cases. He admits times when his patients died despite every possible medical intervention, fervent prayers, and great faith . . . and other times when patients were healed when he’d nearly lost all hope. He wrestles with a God who can’t be commanded or perfectly understood, and he ultimately finds rest in a God who can be trusted because He is love. His ways are higher than ours, but He is love, and He loves us.
Even if you’ve loved God for the past 60 years and have found Him faithful (as I have), you won’t finish the book unchanged. As I listened to Dr. Walker share his story of spiritual growth (from seed to oak tree in my mind, although he wouldn’t put it that way!), I found myself being built up in my own faith. There is a profound power in honestly sharing God’s work in our lives. I think it’s the ministry of the Holy Spirit wooing us to become more in love with our mighty, marvelous God.
Near the end of the book, Dr. Walker makes this statement, which resonates in my heart as true: “In God, there is always life . . . While we are alive, and while we are in love with Him, the adventure continues.”
I would like to leave you with the same verses Dr. Walker used to end his memoir: “I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God” (Deuteronomy 30:19-20).
Summer Setting 