Wedding Joys: The Soloist Who’s No Longer Solo!

Susan and Cindi have been two of my closest friends and prayer partners for the past 20 years, and through the years, we’ve watched with joy as our kids have grown up. Sarah (pictured above) was also in our Wednesday night Bible study group from the time she was a child and participated faithfully in our “Second Sunday” music ministry.
One by one many of our kids (now in their 20’s and 30’s) have married and started families of their own, but for some totally mysterious reason, Sarah never found her special someone, even though she was bright, lovely, and extremely gifted. I have a dear friend who was a bridesmaid multiple times before she became a bride (at age 42), so Susan, Cindi, and I continued to pray and hope for the right spouse! However, until recently, Sarah had been the pianist and soloist at ??? nearly a hundred weddings . . . but still living solo. 😦All that changed recently, and I was the happy videographer for the event! Because my two youngest are also still single, as well as many young adults who read this blog, I asked Sarah and Kyle if I could share a little bit of their journey for the encouragement of those of us who are still hoping, looking, waiting, and praying (for ourselves or our loved ones).

Here is what Sarah shared:   “Before Kyle and I met…

I had prayed and hoped for years that I would find a godly man to marry, but it wasn’t happening. I tried online dating many times and went on a few dates, but it always ended as a closed door, including some dangerous situations. It became somewhat of an addiction. I battled major insecurity, especially being in my 30’s and not yet pursued. Every time I was feeling that insecurity or loneliness, I would pop on a dating site, even if it was just to talk with a man. But it was only leaving me empty. There was a man from Chicago I dated for a couple months but I did not have peace. I said good bye to him on my 32nd birthday and it was the best thing I could’ve done even though I truly thought I would be single the rest of my life. There was a strange feeling of contentment and acceptance though. Surrender. If God wasn’t opening the door for me with all these men online, then I didn’t want to make it happen on my own and wind up in an awful situation. In all this I was in a BSF [Bible Study Fellowship] group that really was healing and challenging and drawing me closer to Jesus. BSF was not at Impact though [Sarah’s church], and after a year’s study, I went back to a life group with Impact so that I didn’t get disconnected there. That’s where Kyle came two months later.”

Meanwhile, this is what was happening in Kyle’s life: “Before Sarah and I met…

I was in a previous relationship with another woman. We were engaged to be married, but that soon would end due to the toxic/unhealthy relationship it was turning out to be. It was evident that God was not FIRST in my life let alone in my relationship with this woman. I believe He was attempting to grab my attention and save me from the hurt and pain I was spiraling toward. Through God’s grace, reckless love, and fierce pursuit for my life and soul, through my parents and other loved ones – I finally obtained the courage to do what I knew would be extremely hard and painful, yet the BEST thing I could. I had to part ways with her and choose God. So I did. 

I parted ways with her, and re-surrendered my life and future to God, placing Him first in my life, and seeking out His BEST for my life, regardless of what that looked like. I knew that no matter what, it would be much better than the struggles and hurt I was experiencing in that present moment. Following the break up, I had parted ways and even left Impact Church where I had been attending for a solid 3 years just to avoid seeing her. I continued going to church elsewhere but soon realized that my home was there at Impact, and something was missing in my life. I knew that is where I had formed roots, connections, friendships, and could access community at its core. I had to come back, WANTED to come back. So I did. 

I went back to Impact and Lifegroups, hungry for God and what He had in store for me there. Even though I was considered a familiar face to most of the Lifegroup members I was a new face to some. This included Sarah Main. We ended up going around the room introducing ourselves one particular day of Lifegroup to allow for everyone to become acquainted. We were told to state our name and what we did for an occupation. When it was my turn, I stated my name, “Kyle Stoltzfus…” followed by, “I am an automotive technician at M-43 Auto.” Sarah (a bit sarcastic, yet sincerely wondering…) then asked, “Can you fix a coolant leak?” I replied, “Yes, I can.”

I looked at her vehicle briefly after our Lifegroup meeting that day and suggested that she get it taken care of soon as there were other issues to address in addition to the coolant leak. She called my shop, made an appointment and notified me. I knew right away that the scheduled time was too far out given her issues, so I offered my personal assistance. We made a time sooner than the shop appointment and that evening, what could have, and probably should have, taken me only 30 minutes ended up turning into a 2 and a half hour time. We just talked, and talked, and talked, walking away both thinking, I have an interest to know more, and I like talking with the other. So conversation continued, which led to dating, which led to engagement, which led to our marriage, and where we are now…and ALL BY GOD’S GRACE AND WONDROUS LOVE FOR US.” Isn’t that a beautiful love story? At the reception, Kyle’s best friend shared that when he asked Kyle what he loved best about Sarah, Kyle said,” Sarah is the most godly young woman I know, and she always challenges me by her example to be more like Christ.” One of the unusual “hurdles” to overcome was the fact that Sarah is eight years older than Kyle. In this process, she learned that one of her great-grandmothers was eight years older than her grandfather (which had never occurred to her before)! So . . . she had to wait a while for Kyle to grow up! 🙂However, I don’t think you could ever tell there’s an age difference if you didn’t know, and look how beautifully “matched” they are…right down to the reddish glow of their hair! (Those are natural curls and natural color in Sarah’s hair.) Sarah has had a little time to think about her wedding, and she wanted to share:“A couple additional thoughts…

*Both of us came to a place of surrender before we met.
*Neither of us came to life group to ‘Find someone.’

“I have found that just because now that I have a man and am now married, the insecurity doesn’t just go away. That truly only is healed in Jesus, the only Shepherd and Father of my heart. My ultimate husband who was the one taking care of me those years of waiting. No person can fulfill the deepest heart needs. Only Christ. His way is best even when it doesn’t seem like it!”

Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.
(Psalm 27:14)

(All photos from Kyle and Sarah’s wedding, naturally, although the confetti, truck, and kiss-in-the-field shots are not mine, just used by permission.)