For Women Only

Well, I didn’t mean that exactly. Don’t take it personally…it’s just the name of this book by Shaunti Feldhahn, who’s a “best selling author, nationally syndicated newspaper columnist, and public speaker…holds a master’s degree in public policy from Harvard University and has worked on Wall Street and Capitol Hill.” Beyond her professional acclaim, “Shaunti and her husband, Jeff, are active leaders in their church, leading a home group that encourages married couples toward greater intimacy with God and each other.”

So, here’s another of my Jeeves’-style “improving books,” and despite the non-PC title, I really liked it! I don’t mean to give away the punch line, because the entire book is well worth an evening’s read, but I want to quote the results from the survey that I found most helpful. When men wrote in about what was most important to them but at the same time difficult to talk about in marriage, the results (in reverse order) look like this:

5. “I need more sex.” (10%)

4. “I need her to understand my burden to provide/how draining my job is.” (10%)

3. “I need more respect, in private and public.” (15%)

2. “I wish she’d make more of an effort to take care of herself.” (18%)

1. “I want her to know how much I love her.” (32%)

Numbers 2-5 didn’t surprise me in the least and are all well worth heeding, but Number 1 blew me away! I thought it would be obvious if a man loved a woman. It looks like about a third of America’s husbands feel like they love their wives more than their wives realize. I’m really pondering that one and suspect my husband and I would fall into that group. How about you?