Chuckle for Today…

09.30.15 Kid ResponsesOut of the mouths of babes?…

LOT’S  WIFE

The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot’s wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted.

“My Mommy looked back once while she was driving,” he announced  triumphantly, “and she turned into a telephone  pole!”

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GOOD  SAMARITAN

A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of  the Good
Samaritan. She asked the class, “If you  saw a person lying on the
roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?”

A  thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence,  “I think I’d throw
up.”
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DID  NOAH FISH?
A Sunday  school teacher asked, “Darrel, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?”

 

“No,” replied Darrel. “How could he, with just two worms?”

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HIGHER  POWER

A Sunday school teacher said to her children, “We  have been learning how powerful kings and queens  were in Bible times. But, there is a Higher Power. Can anybody tell me what it is?”

One child  blurted out,  “Aces!”

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MOSES  AND THE RED SEA

Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School.

“Well,  Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he radioed headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved.”

“Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?” his mother
asked.

“Well, no, Mom, but, if I told it the way the teacher did, you’d never
believe  it!”
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THE  LORD IS MY SHEPHERD

A Sunday  School teacher decided to have her young class  memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible – Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter.

Little Rick was excited about the task – but he just couldn’t remember the psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line. On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was surprisingly calm.  When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, “The Lord is my  Shepherd, and that’s all I need to  know.”

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UNANSWERED  PRAYER

The preacher’s 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head for a  moment before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why.

“Well, Honey,” he began,  proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages, “I’m asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon.”

“How come He doesn’t answer?” she asked.

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BEING  THANKFUL

A Rabbi said to a precocious  six-year-old boy, “So your mother says prayers for you each night? That’s very commendable.  What does she say?”

The  little boy replied, “Thank you, Lord! He’s finally in  bed!”

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UNTIMELY  ANSWERED PRAYER

During the minister’s  prayer one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from one of the back pews. Tommy’s mother was horrified.  She pinched him into silence and, after church, asked,  “Tommy, whatever made you do such a thing?”

Tommy answered soberly, “I asked God to teach me to whistle, and he did!”

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TIME  TO PRAY

A pastor asked a little boy if he said his prayers every night.

“Yes,  sir.” the boy replied.

“And, do you always say them in the morning, too?” the pastor asked.

“No sir,” the boy replied. “I ain’t scared in the  daytime”

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ALL  MEN / ALL GIRLS

When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would ask God to bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past). For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, “And all girls.”

Eventually, it became part of her nightly routine to include this closing.  My curiosity got the best of me, and I asked her, “Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?”She responded, “Because everybody else always finishes their prayers by saying ‘All Men’!”

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SAY A  PRAYER

Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his
grandmother’s house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served.  When Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away.

 “Johnny!  Please wait until we say our prayer.” said his mother.

“I don’t need to,” the boy  replied.

 “Of course,  you do.” his mother insisted. “We always say a prayer before eating at our house.”
“That’s at our house.” Johnny explained.  “But this is grandma’s house,  and she knows how to cook!”
“God looked down from heaven upon the children of men, to see if there were any that did understand, that did seek God” (Psalm 53:2).
“How excellent is thy lovingkindness, O God! therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of thy wings” (Psalm 36:7).

2 responses to “Chuckle for Today…

  1. Charylene Powers

    My favorite “The Lord is my Shepherd, and that is all I need to know.”

    • I think because it’s so true and so comforting…rather like Bonhoeffer, who said his whole theology could be summed up in, “Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.” Amen!

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