Sign outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING – BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN’T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
Notice in a farmer’s field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS, PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR – THE BELL DOESN’T WORK)
In a newspaper:
MAN KILLS SELF BEFORE SHOOTING WIFE AND DAUGHTER
(After someone called the editor to point out the error, it took two or three readings before he realized that what he was reading was impossible! They put in a correction the next day.)
And, how about these headlines:
POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS.
…Now that’s taking things a bit far!
KIDS MAKE NUTRITIOUS SNACKS
…Do they taste like chicken?
SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET CRASH, EXPERT SAYS
MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH
…Really? Those no-good-for-nothing’ lazy so-and-so’s!
JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
WAR DIMS HOPE FOR PEACE
I can see where it might have that effect!
IF STRIKE ISN’T SETTLED QUICKLY, IT MAY LAST AWHILE
We hold these truths to be self-evident…
COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURES
Wonders never cease!
ENFIELD (LONDON) COUPLE SLAIN; POLICE SUSPECT HOMICIDE
Elementary, my dear Watson!
RED TAPE HOLDS UP NEW BRIDGE
You mean there’s something stronger than duct tape?
And the winner is….
TYPHOON RIPS THROUGH CEMETERY; HUNDREDS DEAD
Did I read that right? Maybe in Cairo, but—are there ever typhoons in Cairo?
“As for God, his way is perfect” (Psalm 18:30).
But as for the rest of us…not so much! 🙂